


Take me Home, I'll make it Worthwhile

by Sugar_and_Salt



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Androids, M/M, Mild Language, Romance, a ton of innuendos, alternative universe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-21
Updated: 2018-09-21
Packaged: 2019-07-07 13:11:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 34,617
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15908937
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sugar_and_Salt/pseuds/Sugar_and_Salt
Summary: Jongdae didn't know a lot about androids. Alright, that might be an understatement. But in no movie had he ever heard an android greet a stranger with the words "Hey, babe".Kyungsoo knew a lot about humans. But no human had ever offered to take him home.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> alright, so this whole fic sorta got out of control - it was supposed to be short, but feels like it SHOULD be longer, and half of it is unbeta'd. I'll try to add a beta'd version as soon as I can though!
> 
> That aside, I would thank the lovely beta who took her time to revise the first half so thoroughly. this fic got so much longer than anticipated and yet you were nothing but understanding and patient with my confusing train of thoughts. I hope you know how much I appreciated that!
> 
> thank you very much to the mods. I can't say it enough, but there aren't nearly enough chen fics and seeing people come together to hype up chen every year makes me super happy <3
> 
> and last but not least: thanks to anyone who reads this! I hope you'll like this story even a little bit <3

Jongdae liked company. He liked partying and being among people. He had no problem with alcohol (quite the opposite, actually, since he was one of those guys who just soaked up whiskey with a smile), and he liked partying at home, in bars or clubs. It wasn’t like he was desperate to fry his brain cells at every opportunity; but once in a while, partying was nice. 

Still.

He looked around the mass of heads, glowing clothes, strobe lights and found that everything was blurry, lost under thick smoke. For one, he liked places where smoking was forbidden since the thick air gave him a headache. But everything else about this place was just as terrible. The was known for being shabby, the bottom of the barrel when it came to nightclubs in Seoul - though to be fair, most 24h clubs fell under that category. Everything screamed cheap - the furniture, the technology, the drinks, the people. Jongdae grimaced at the sticky feeling of his arm against the bar and wiped at it with a dry tissue. Cheap and dirty. Even normal folks like them should have more dignity than to hang out here, where Jongdae vaguely feared catching an STD just from sitting on the creaky chair. His friends were all over the place already and Jongdae had snuck off - though snuck off sounded way more subtle than he had been; Jongdae had openly left them, yelling how he’d get himself a drink. Now that he sat here, he wasn’t too sure whether he really wanted a drink, judging by how filthy just about everything looked. He ended up ordering a tap water – and instead of returning to his friends, he kept sitting there, vaguely nodding to the beat. Even the music was cheap and dirty. Aggressive beats, calling for people to rip off their clothes and forget about their audience. Jongdae slurped his water through a straw as he judgingly watched the crowd. No finesse at all. Maybe he should actually get drunk enough not to care anymore. But boy, he wasn’t sure he had enough money on him to get _that_ drunk.

At that moment, someone clumsily tapped his shoulder and Jongdae turned around, his entire expression sinking when he realized that it was a stranger slipping into the seat next to him. Jongdae wasn’t above flirting with strangers, but this was the wrong place for it. The guy ignored his expression, leaned in just a little too close for comfort to half-purr, half-yell into his ear.

“Hey, babe.”

Jongdae was caught between cringing, and…not cringing. The stranger looked young and so handsome it was surreal. Even in the awful lighting, he could see smooth skin and wide, clear eyes that would have looked innocent if not for the thick brows adding maturity and determination to his expression. Jongdae certainly hadn’t seen anyone looking this sober ever since he had left the house earlier. Belatedly, caution kicked his metaphorically distracted self, telling him to be extra careful. If that guy was sober and hitting on him, chances were high that he was out for date rape (though the word _date_ was about as misplaced in this club as table manners).

“I’m not interested,” Jongdae said, quick but not unfriendly. His gaze dropped down from his soft face to a leather jacket that looked as if it was about to fall apart, as well as a shirt that would probably reek if this place wasn’t so smoked out. The tattered clothes only confirmed Jongdae’s suspicions about this being a shady person.

“Maybe I can make you interested,” the stranger insisted, and even over the terrible noise of trashy music, Jongdae could hear how hard the other tried to sound seductive.

“I’m sure you can’t. Have fun-” he said, already getting to his feet when a hand grabbed his arm and Jongdae slapped at it, instinctively. That’s when he realized it. Or assumed it, for he shot the stranger a confused look, rubbing his fingers against each other. The other’s skin had been way too hard.

“You’re an android?”

The other didn’t even hesitate.

“Totally. You got a problem with that?”

Jongdae blinked. For one, androids didn’t talk like this. They were supposed to sound intellectual and far more superior than some thug at a bar. Because they were.

“I guess not? I’m still not interested though,” Jongdae hurried to clarify, his fingers clinging to the glass of cool water to chase away the sting. The android looked actually disappointed and it looked so real it was eery. At least the other’s surreal looks were explained now. That made the situation no less bizarre though. Jongdae had never seen an android run around freely at an establishment like this. They usually belonged to a company or human and acted as employees. Sure, they had a lot of sentient androids enjoying freedom, but disgusting clubs were not the kind of places intellectual beings would prefer to spend their free time at.

“It’s okay, take it easy. I’ll buy you a drink,” the android brushed him off with ridiculous confidence, and Jongdae got more and more puzzled.

“Why are you here?”

The android looked away from the bartender and at him, tilting his head as if he hadn’t quite understood him.

“Excuse me?”

“Shouldn’t you go home? This is not a good place for androids-” Jongdae began, only to get silenced by a finger on his lips. He didn’t even have the mind to feel harassed, for everything about this was just so strange.

“Don’t you worry about me, sweetheart,” he said, and it was so ridiculous that Jongdae actually snorted. This tiny android (really, he must’ve been shorter than him, and Jongdae was already considered a shortie) with wide eyes was hitting on him, sputtering the biggest nonsense with utter seriousness.

“This is not working on me,” Jongdae provided with a mix of amusement and exasperation. “Are you being paid to entertain boring customers?”

The android was all up in his face again, hands stroking down Jongdae’s back.

“I don’t think you’re boring,” he said, and it might have looked like an acceptable attempt at sounding erotic, if not for the noise of the club forcing him to almost yell it. Jongdae was so far away from being turned on that he only patted the android’s shoulder with a smile.

“You really should consider going home. There’s a lot of weirdos around here, and while you’re kinda one of them, you don’t deserve meeting a bad weirdo.”

The android still looked like he was the one speaking nonsense.

“But this _is_ my home. Whatcha talking about?”

“ _This_ is your home?” Jongdae asked, absently slipping back into his seat. The android watched the movement and followed, taking the neighbouring seat again.

“Yeah.”

For some reason, Jongdae knew that this wasn’t a metaphor - granted, this android might be strange, but in general, androids moved on the literal, straightforward side of things.

“As in, you are here all day? Every day?” Jongdae asked, and the android looked rather unimpressed, which was the first time he reminded Jongdae of an actual android.

“That’s what the concept of home is, isn't it ?”

“But why? Do you belong to the club?”

“Nah, man. I’m my own entity,” the android waved him off, and Jongdae watched the gesture, shaking his head to focus on the matter at hand.

“So you’re homeless and afraid someone would catch you if you left?”

“Why would I leave? This is my home. I’ve always been here.”

“Always?” Jongdae asked sceptically. Maybe the poor thing got abandoned, he thought. The poor thing certainly didn’t look sad or pitiful though.

“Yeah. Woke up in one of the rooms in the back, and before my initial boot was done, people left. Think they were in a hurry, too. Well, I doubt they’ll ever come back, so whatevs.”

Jongdae looked at him and tried to process these news. This android had never known anything but this dirty, sleazy club and for some miraculous reasons, he hadn’t gotten himself abducted or killed yet. Or taken in by the officials, for that matter. Androids had to belong to someone so that someone could take responsibility. Nobody took responsibility for this one. Or cared for him for that matter. Even if the club tolerated him, no one seemed to have bothered buying him a new shirt in years.

Jongdae acted on impulse, the words tumbling out before he knew it.

“Wanna come home with me?”

To his surprise, the android seemed delighted.

“For real? No one’s ever offered me that. Fuck yes, I would.”

Before Jongdae could say another word, the android was all up in his face again, this time flat out groping his thigh as he leaned in close for what Jongdae assumed to be a kiss. He turned to the side and without much grace, pushing the other’s head away.

“Will you stop that, please?” he asked, looking around, a little embarrassed all of a sudden. No one was paying them attention though. The android didn’t try to kiss him again, but his hand was still splayed across his thigh.

“What now? I thought you wanted to take me home?”

“Not like that!” Jongdae spluttered, unable to resist giving the other a quick once over.

“Do you even know what that implication means? Like, can you even… _do that_?”

“Do what?” the android asked, and he seemed a little uncomfortable with where this was going. Well, that made two of them.

“You know,” Jongdae said vaguely, making a few gestures that meant nothing at all. “Have sex. Androids don’t really do that.”

To his surprise, the other looked discouraged. Jongdae had never seen so many emotions on an android’s face. Alright, maybe that wasn’t exactly true, but something about the other was so very off compared to other androids, and he couldn’t put his finger on it.

“So you won’t take me home,” he said. It was a statement, not a question.

“I thought you were happy here?” Jongdae asked suspiciously, and the other shrugged.

“Well, sure, but that’s what people do. They make out and take each other home,” the android said like he was explaining to Jongdae that the sky was blue. Which was ironic. Did this android even know the sky was blue?

“It’s the ultimate goal and I’ve just not been able to achieve it. But if I stop trying, then I’m obviously a failure when it comes to being part of society. Then again, I think that’s pretty obvious by now,” he ended, rolling his eyes again. Jongdae was still confused in so many ways and he knew he needed time to sort out his feelings and thoughts. But he just couldn’t let the android behind until that time came. Sure, he had survived to this day, but Jongdae had learned along the way that playing safe could turn against you and that some chances had to be taken asap, or else they’d never come back. So he got to his feet and gently grabbed the android’s arm.

“I’ll still take you home. Come on, before you catch some robot STD or something.”

“What’s an STD?” the android yelled over the noise as he pliantly followed him.

“I should have guessed no one has told you about that,” Jongdae mumbled to himself.

And just like this, he had made a very big decision in questionable circumstances. One that would change his life a lot.

Well, at least he’d been sober while doing it. Mostly.

The android was all but clawing into his back on their whole way to the subway station, and when they actually entered a close-to deserted train, Jongdae feared the little thing was going to combust. With his eyes wide open, he kept looking around, head whipping from right to left.

“It’s okay,” Jongdae said quietly, patting the hand that was painfully digging into his arm. “I do this all the time, it’s gonna be fine. Just transportation.”

The android didn’t react immediately, as if Jongdae’s voice was on a lower priority at the moment - which he wasn’t going to hold against him.

“Sure,” he finally said, sounding about as convincing as a freshly graduated guy advertising himself at a job interview. Jongdae wasn’t used to androids being this emotional. That is, he wasn’t used to being able to tell this easily. Most androids were perfectly independent entities, but they didn’t have a human body dictating their expressions, so why would they act them out in what they usually perceived to be a comically over-the-top way?

The only other passengers in their line of sight were two old ladies and a person drunk enough to be considered 90% passed out (his eyes were still open, though, so Jongdae wouldn’t vouch for it). He was pretty certain none of them suspected the guy next to him to be an android. Which reminded him…

“I haven’t even asked your name yet. I can’t believe I kidnapped someone who I don’t even know the name of.”

A split second passed before the android turned to look at him, and then confusion spread across his face. There was a certain delay, but Jongdae could hardly blame it on his android nature. Not when he sometimes stared at fallen food for close to _five_ seconds before his brain even started to consider the ‘three seconds’ rule.

“Yeah? So? Isn’t that how it goes? No one cares about names, right?”

Jongdae sighed.

“You know, I feel like you might have gotten a few things wrong.”

“About what?” the android asked, his attention now fully focused on him. At least he wasn’t close to shaking anymore.

“About humans in general,” Jongdae said slowly, and the android tilted his head and raised his shoulders with a questioning expression - it looked very human. Oh, the irony.

The walk to Jongdae’s apartment complex was uneventful. He had expected to be bombarded with questions but it seemed like the android preferred to silently soak up his surroundings, so he let him be. When he punched in the code and entered the non-too glamorous but all-too-familiar place he called home, Jongdae felt like the night had lasted ten hours longer than it actually had. If he were alone, he might have not even bothered switching on the light, but he had a guest today, so he did.

“Welcome to my humble home,” he said, his voice adjusting to the loneliness of the place, which must’ve been a stark contrast to the android who only knew noise and flickering lights. He was standing in the doorway, scrutinizing the hallway in a way that made Jongdae self-conscious as fast as a long look from his grandmother.

“I know it’s a saying but my home really _is_ humble, and maybe even that is a stretch. I hope you don’t mind. Just make yourself at home.”

Apartments in Seoul were ridiculously expensive, and this one was as good as it got, for someone of Jongdae’s caliber. It was rather narrow, most windows were rather small, some rooms like the bathroom had no windows at all and everything smelled a little dusty, though that was on Jongdae. Sometimes, when he shuffled into his apartment after a long day, he thought about how the slight scent of dust and the stale air reminded him of his workplace. Though here he could just open a few windows, while at his workplace he had to get by on the metallic, dry air that the conditioners tried so hard to filter.

He hung up his jacket and went to the living room, flipping off a switch and grabbing one of the stray pieces of chocolate off a shelf before proceeding to walk into the room, aiming for his bedroom.

“I’ll take a quick shower first - I smell worse than an ashtray. Do whatever you wan-”

He looked around to find the android still standing in the hallway, albeit in the middle of it. He didn’t seem inclined to actually move, content just standing there. Jongdae blinked and walked a few steps back towards him.

“Do you want a tour first?” he asked slowly, and the android looked at him like he was stupid.

“You want to have a concert in such a small place?”

Jongdae mirrored his expression for a second before it cleared into mild exasperation.

“I meant ‘ _do you want me to show you my apartment_ ’?”

“We’re already in it. I can clearly see it,” the android countered, when his face lit up at another incoming thought.

“Unless... this is you asking for some sexy make out action. Sorry, I usually pick up on this stuff, and the shower statement should’ve tipped me off already. But you know I’m ready to drop-”

“Never mind,” Jongdae groaned, using both hands to wave and hoping to shut the android up before things could get weirder again. Yes, weird _er_.

“You don’t have to stay in the hallway is all I’m saying. Feel free to explore the apartment. It would be a bonus if you didn’t break anything and gave me some privacy in the bathroom,” Jongdae said in the voice of a man who had given up entirely. He simply grabbed some fresh clothes (and considered burning the ones he was wearing. He didn’t even know whether the smell of them was going to make him retch or get him high. It was one of his favourite shirts, too, and it did not deserve such treatment).

Now it was sort of a given that people had deep shower thoughts. At least Jongdae constantly read about people lamenting shower thoughts, from artistic ideas to deep and philosophical or absurd questions about life. It made Jongdae, who mainly thought about what he was going to do after the shower and - occasionally treating himself to some quick and clean self-loving - feel a little stupid. But maybe there was a certain efficiency in that, at least compared to questions about how a society with dinosaurs in it would work. This was not an ordinary shower, though. It was a _sobering up_ shower. The tiny bit of rest alcohol was evaporating for good while he was all by himself under the steady, sterile bathroom light. So on top of the usual ‘ _what’s next?_ ’, sobriety forced Jongdae to go through a clean re-cap first. And the results were quite messy. Why had he taken in a homeless android again? Androids were expensive to maintain, and this one was currently walking illegal grounds by not belonging to anyone. Was he committing a crime by housing an unregistered android? Could he just find someone to register him, or maybe even do it himself without consequences? What if the android didn’t want that? What would officials do with such a… social butterfly of an android? _And really_ , Jongdae thought as he looked at nothing in particular while towelling his damp hair, _why, of all abandoned androids_ , _had he picked such a special snowflake?_

 __He almost expected to find the android in a state of undress, waiting for Jongdae to finally drop his facade and get to the sex part. What he didn’t expect was for him to orderly sit on the couch, Jongdae’s modem sitting in his lap. He looked up when Jongdae entered, followed his gaze to the object perched on his thighs, and in an almost defensive voice, he said “I was careful. I don’t think I’m breaking it.”

Jongdae stared. For some reason, this guy made _him_ look like the android out of the two.

“Yeah, no, it’s okay. Definitely won’t break. What are you doing though?”

“I’m sitting.”

“I noticed, but what are you doing with the modem?” Jongdae asked with a fresh wave of patience still damply clinging to his skin. It was faintly cherry-scented, just how he liked it. The android looked down at the blinking object with a new-found interest.

“That’s what it is? I had no idea.”

The way his fingers ran over the surface was almost reverent, and Jongdae felt like an idiot when he finally understood.

“You like it? Because it blinks and stuff? And has multiple colors?”

“Yeah,” the android admitted readily. “It’s pretty. Although it’s a bit annoying that I can’t seem to find a pattern in the blinking.”

“I’m pretty sure there is none,” Jongdae said as he padded into the kitchen with a yawn.

“Should I put it back?” he heard the other call from the living room.

“No, no. It’s okay. Just don’t switch it off, please, or my life’s independency level will sink by about 80%,” he replied, grabbing a chilled bottle of sparkling water.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean,” Jongdae began, popping his head back into the living room, “that I’d have no internet.”

The android nodded knowingly and Jongdae moved on, ready to get things done so he could sleep. It was approaching two in the morning and there was no pressing _need_ to stay up any longer.

“So, I was thinking about calling it a day for now. You sleep, too, don’t you? You must be exhausted as well.”

The android nodded. He looked a little lost in his ragged clothing, sitting on his couch and cradling the modem in his lap.

“I do sleep. Usually, I only do standby, though, because it’s risky to sleep among so many people. Wouldn’t want anyone to knock me over.”

Jongdae imagined an android in a packed club, looking like an apathetic drunk that was occasionally jostled around. And that was his idea of resting.

“Okay,” he said, more to himself than anything, swallowing all the questions he had. “Okay. I’ll get you some clean pajamas and you can take my bed for tonight. We’ll think of a better solution tomorrow.”

“Why, am I gonna stay for another night?” the android asked, and even he himself didn’t seem to know whether he was hopeful or unhappy about that idea. Jongdae hesitated.

“We’ll think of that tomorrow, too,” he said vaguely, “and also how to properly get you cleaned. No offense, but you kinda reek and I have no idea if androids shower.”

“I only know golden showers?”

“Stooop… talking, right there, before I rethink letting you in my bed,” Jongdae shuddered, pushing the android inside his bedroom, tossing a pair of old, but clean pajamas at him.

“I never said I did those… a lot.”

Jongdae shushed him and bustled around the bedroom to get whatever he might need in the morning while the android dressed with remarkable efficiency. Jongdae refused to think about why he was so practiced. By the time Jongdae stood by the door, one hand on the light switch, the android was already tucked in, the modem placed on the nightstand.

“I’m a little confused about almost everything,” the android admitted, and Jongdae nodded.

“Me too, man. Weird day. That’s why it’s time to sleep and hopefully process some of it. Want me to leave the door open?”

“Yeah. Silence is unsettling.”

Jongdae made a mental note to put together some music for the android (though he’d rather not have tacky club music blast through his apartment all night) and switched off the light. Just when he was about to leave, the android called out for him one more time.

“My name is Kyungsoo, by the way.”

“Oh. Okay,” Jongdae said, all out of intelligent responses.

“Figured that if everything’s upside down, you might wanna know my name, after all,” the android called Kyungsoo said.

“I do,” Jongdae assured him. “Or rather I did, because now I know. Goodnight, Kyungsoo.”

“Goodnight.”

Not too long after, Jongdae switched off all the lights and threw one last look at the curled up android who was facing the blinking modem. It was odd, but at least he didn’t have any regrets in that very moment.


	2. Chapter 2

 

The next morning, Jongdae woke up and he wasn't alone in his apartment. That could probably be said about his friends, as well, but unlike them, Jongdae had no nasty hangover. Or whatever human nastiness they brought home from the club.

Well, to be perfectly fair _he_ had been the one to quite literally take someone home, someone objectively dirty, too, but Jongdae felt no regrets as he lay in bed, sleepily staring at the ceiling. Definitely no regrets... just a tiny bit of unsettlement maybe. Or panic. It felt quite like waking up after an undeserved nap right before a deadline - suddenly, you realize that your actions might not have been all that well thought through. Kyungsoo was an unregistered android. Would that get him into trouble? Possibly. Though maybe Kyungsoo would be the only one getting into trouble. Jongdae had never really come in contact with androids, but in movies, they usually took the android away for further evaluation and eventual re-programing if they weren’t registered under a human’s name. To Jongdae's good-natured human mind, reprogramming an android felt like killing it and he wouldn't wish that upon anyone. Either way, he had to figure out how to proceed from here.

He rolled out of bed with a distinct lack of grace, blindly reaching for a piece of clothing he'd thrown over a chair. Then he remembered that he had a guest and decided that just a t-shirt wouldn't do it. Admittedly, his guest was an android, but said android had also persistently tried to get into his pants last night, so there was really no reason to give him the wrong idea now.

He didn't know what he'd expected, but finding Kyungsoo buried under blankets sure wasn't it. It wasn't _that_ cold in his apartment - and did androids even feel cold in the first place?

Jongdae cautiously knocked against the doorframe, and the pile of blankets on the bed moved; moved towards him until the android's eyes peeked at him.

"Are you alright...?" Jongdae asked very slowly. The android blinked in reply, no, squinted his eyes?

"It's bright as hell," he said, sounding perfectly awake but muffled by the blanket. Jongdae thought that the crude language didn't suit a person hiding away from something as harmless as sunlight.

"Well, that's cause it's daytime," Jongdae replied, not quite awake yet. "Tends to be bright then. If we're lucky, that is."

"So you're sure it's not harmful?" Kyungsoo asked suspiciously, while Jongdae opened the windows.

"Dude, _you're_ the one made of fancy metals. If it doesn't kill me, it shouldn't harm you either."

"Fair enough," came the swift reply, but a look told Jongdae that that Kyungsoo had a hard time actually lowering his blanket armor.

"I mean, if I'm in the sun for too long, my skin gets burnt and then kinda flakes off for a bit, but I doubt that's gonna happen to you," Jongdae joked, and he got an alarmed stare in return that clearly said " _You're kiddin’, aren’t you_?"

Taking pity on him, Jongdae walked over to pry the blanket off him.

"Calm down, you'll be fine. If you look out the window long enough, you'll probably see plenty of androids walking the street just fine. You're not a vampire."

He wrinkled his nose at the smell of smoke, alcohol and hangover. Yes, if he had to describe the smell of a hangover, he'd just drag in this android.

"What's a vampire?" Kyungsoo asked, following Jongdae out of the room.

"A fictional monster that sucks blood and turns to dust in the sunlight," Jongdae replied mindlessly, aiming for the bathroom.

"How do you get blood out of a dick?"

Jongdae instantly halted whatever he was doing and thinking about to shoot the android a disturbed look.

"What are you talking about?"

Kyungsoo replied with patience.

"Well, if you suck someone, there's two things that can come out of it, maybe even three, but none of those are blood. Sounds kinda like a bad sign-"

"Oh my god, _stop_. _Talking_." Jongdae commanded (a command so weak it should be ashamed), "Sucking doesn't only refer to blowjobs, okay?"

He only got a puzzled look in response.

"Vampires suck the blood out of human's veins," he explained decisively. "Nothing sexual about that."

Instead of understanding or at the very least resignation, the android showed even more confusion.

"That makes even _less_ sense."

"Fictional monsters don't usually make sense," Jongdae retorted and decided that the topic was closed for now. Forever. For his sanity.

"Alright. So are you waterproof?" Jongdae asked instead, and Kyungsoo blinked. Opened his mouth-

"I don't wanna hear anything about bodily fluids right now, okay?" he cut him off. He felt a little bad for being so curt, but it was too early for this. Kyungsoo closed his mouth.

"I guess I am. Can't say I’m a huge fan of a lot of liquid in my mouth," he began, changing directions under Jongdae's ' _I dare you_ ' look, "but other than that, it's fine."

"Good. I don't suppose you can clean yourself on your own?" Jongdae asked, a little softer now that it had become obvious that the android was trying to meet him halfway. The android actually snorted - Jongdae had never heard an android snort.

"Of course I can. It's no big deal, right?"

He went to the sink and began to wash his hands.

For a few seconds, Jongdae blankly watched him. Then he reached for two fresh towels instead of one.

 

A few minutes later, Jongdae squished himself into his tiny shower with a very much naked android, armed with cheap showering gel and shampoo.

"I'll just give you a heads up again - nothing sexual happening here," Jongdae all but warned the other, who was very distracted by the water coming from the ceiling and looked a bit like a wet dog. With a smile, Jongdae got to work. Kyungsoo was considerably less chatty now that he was in an unfamiliar situation and kept his eyes scrunched closed to avoid getting shampoo in them. Jongdae took the opportunity to get more familiar with the android. He'd never been this close to one before, and there were actually quite a few noticeable differences. Usually, he was only able to tell apart androids from humans if they chose to publicly identify themselves (usually by glowing marks), or if the models were really old. Kyungsoo didn't necessarily look old, though he didn't look like the otherworldly high tech models, either - not that those ran around unguarded a lot. Kyungsoo looked just like a regular human with unique facial features, which was unusual among all the ethereal-looking androids. Androids were created by humans, and humans liked to create things they deemed pretty, liked to impress people. At this point, androids were just known to look flawless. Kyungsoo didn't look ugly, not in any way. But his thick, unkempt brows and roundish face looked really natural. With a grimace, Jongdae turned the android a little to rinse off the first layers of dirt and drizzled more fruity gel along his shoulders and collarbones. His skin looked natural and felt natural, except for the lack of soft flesh or muscles beneath it, which was an entirely alien feeling he'd have to get used to.

"You can relax a little," Jongdae suggested, "if you didn't short-circuit so far, nothing's gonna happen from here on out."

"Okay," Kyungsoo said, voice echoing through the bathroom. Nothing visibly changed about his posture so Jongdae could only take his word. He'd just been trying to distract himself, anyway, trying to completely downplay the fact that he was washing someone's chest, and that the android had nipples. What did an android need nipples for?

Jongdae had never pegged himself as a prude but the past  12 hours or so had been pretty rough on him. He paused, closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

_I'm cleaning an android_ , he told himself. Nothing weird about that. Alright, everything was weird about the whole situation, but nothing was weird in a sexual way. He was not physically attracted to androids and androids weren't attracted to humans (though some could simulate it). Whatever the hell Kyungsoo was simulating seemed to go completely overboard though, which was only helping Jongdae in keeping his calm. This android had no idea what he was doing and needed his help. With that thought in mind, Jongdae steeled himself for whatever mess he was about to find and knelt down to clean his lower body parts.

 

* * *

 

 

Jongdae heard a sloppy, but encouraging 'hmm' from behind him, and absently shook his head as he glanced at the clock. He'd have to leave for work soon.

"How come you don't have any basic knowledge about... the world?" he asked, deciding that saying ' _about anything at all_ ' would’ve sounded a little harsh.

"Androids usually get all the info fed to them when they're first booted, right? At least that's my understanding of it."

He placed the boxes of sliced fruit and yogurt back into the fridge and took a seat at the kitchen table with his improvised breakfast. Yogurt with peaches, tangerine, raspberries...

"Do they? I wouldn't know. Seems like a reasonable thing to do though," Kyungsoo shrugged, watching Jongdae pour a generous amount of tiny chocolate splits over his yogurt. Life was too short to hold back on chocolate splits. Jongdae had never thought about having a life motto, but this one seemed as good as any.

"Well, I told you, they just left after booting me. Seemed like they really wanted to get outta there."

Jongdae hummed thoughtfully as he mixed his yogurt.

"That's right. I wonder what they wanted you to do that they abandoned you like that..."

He paused the stirring, feeling guilty over the lack of tact, but the android didn't seem bothered at all.

"Like what?" he asked curiously, swiping at the wet fringe that kept obscuring his sight.

Jongdae stared into his yogurt.

_Drug smuggling. Sex trafficking. Assassination. Prostitution._

"Uhm. Illegal work? Maybe they wanted you to bartend but then never pay you?" he said lightly, taking a big spoon of his breakfast, eyes not meeting Kyungsoo's.

"Oh... but why would I mind not being paid? The only use of money is buying drinks, and I can't drink 'em," Kyungsoo continued. Jongdae sighed and shoveled down more of his food after throwing another gaze at the clock. He was going to be late at this pace. He wasn't used to actually interacting with someone at this time.

"Money is super important in this society though," he said, properly swallowing before he continued, "what do you think, that some mighty ruler just gifted me this apartment and food?"

"Why wouldn't they?"

So many questions. So many discussions Jongdae had no time for.

"Look, I gotta leave for work soon-"

"Oh, you're a bartender? Or a DJ?"

"I'm flattered you think I can do more than scrubbing toilets," Jongdae blankly threw in.

"Oh. I thought only cleaning machines did that."

"Never mind, I'm taking that back."

Jongdae got up to place his bowl in the dishwasher and get dressed - not that his job required a special uniform.

Kyungsoo stood in the doorway like the one night stand Jongdae never had, watching him tie his shoes.

"Can't you take me with you?"

"My boss would probably not like that," Jongdae replied, adding another knot, "and also I couldn't take care of you while working. And also you'd probably get arrested for sexual harassment before we got inside the building."

"What's that?"

"Exactly," Jongdae said, reaching for his jacket. Then he looked at the pouty android.

"Look, we'll do it like this. I'll go to work and meanwhile you stay here and take in your surroundings, maybe have your first little reality check. Or update. Whatever. Read some books, watch some TV, look out the window, I don't know. Anything that doesn't demolish the apartment. And when I'm back, we'll go out shopping together. How does that sound?"

"Very confusing," the android admitted. "But I'll give it a shot."

"Good," Jongdae said, more to himself than anything. Before closing the door, he turned around one more time.

"Don't let any strangers in, okay? When in doubt, stay away from buttons. And call me if something is wrong, the chat should be open on the screen in the living room. Bye!"

With that, Jongdae closed the door, and began his long journey of worrying himself to work, thinking of the one hundred and... never mind, probably three hundred ways an unworldly android might fuck up his apartment.

 

* * *

 

 

"You're back, hi!" he said almost excitedly, and Jongdae knelt down next to him, placing his bag on a chair.

"Hi. What are you up to down here?" he asked, looking at a recipe for carrot cake in amusement. Jongdae didn't actually have a passion for cooking, but he possessed the obligatory amount of recipe books that friends and family gift a single guy.

Kyungsoo's gaze, that had already flitted back to the recipe, met his.

"I'm reading. You have a lot of books!"

"Eh... that's. Kind of an overstatement, to say the least," Jongdae began, but the android was too excited to wait for him to finish.

"I've never seen books like this, all solid and new, and there's so much stuff in here I didn't know about!"

"Uhm. Everything you just said is up for debate, but I'm glad you could entertain yourself while I was gone."

He got to his feet and Kyungsoo placed the books back on the shelf with something akin to awe. When he hesitated to put back the one he'd currently been reading, Jongdae told him to keep it for as long as he liked.

"This probably sounds dumb, but I didn't know you could read. Since there's not much to read at a club and all," Jongdae conversationally said as he prepared a glass of water. Kyungsoo placed the book on the table, still unnecessarily careful with the cheap book full of cake recipes.

"There's a lot of signs, a menu and a few brochures. I taught myself to read when I was bored."

"That's impressive," Jongdae said and meant it. It was a long overdue reminder that he was indeed dealing with an android, not a human. Even though it was easy to forget that.

"So, you said we'd go out today?" Kyungsoo asked hopefully, and Jongdae nodded.

"Of course, let me just..." he began, emptying the glass of water in two swift gulps, "finish this. Okay. We're good to go. Let's see if you can fit into any of my shoes."

Kyungsoo's feet turned out to be smaller than his own, which made his walk in the worn out work shoes a little more clunky, but it worked.

"I'd love to buy you some mechanic shoes, but I'm afraid I don't have the budget for that," Jongdae admitted as he locked the door behind them. "Regular shoes gotta do it."

"Well, it’s not like I'll grow out of them or anything, so whatever," Kyungsoo replied with a shrug and, yes, he _did_ have a point.

 

They made it down the streets safely, with Kyungsoo sticking to his side and constantly whipping his head from left to right to take in as much as he could of all these buildings he'd never seen in daylight. It was a tiny bit embarrassing how everyone was staring, but ultimately Jongdae told him to try and be subtle because he was worried some stray police officer would see the suspicious android and check him up.

Aside from a pair of shoes, Jongdae had been thinking of getting Kyungsoo a couple other clothing items, nothing fancy, really - the main purpose of this trip was to introduce the android to the society they lived in, and gently so.

"What's that over there? A party?" Kyungsoo asked, pointing at the obvious bulks of people and booths of the late summer festival. That couldn't be further away from a gentle introduction to society if it tried.

"Kinda. More like a big market," Jongdae said vaguely, shooting the fascinated android a suspicious look.

"Are you sure you wanna go there? It could be pretty stressful."

"It _looks_ pretty chill," Kyungsoo responded, and well, maybe it was rather calm in comparison to a nightclub, but it was also completely unfamiliar terrain. Still, the hopeful, polite question shining in the android's eyes was absurdly human and convincing. Jongdae wasn't a monster.

"Okay, fine. But if it gets too much, just tell me, alright? And take my hand, I wouldn't wanna lose you in there."

Biting his plush lips to keep in the grin, Kyungsoo grasped his hand. An android was reaching out to hold his hand without inhibition, and for some reason, that made Jongdae feel funny. As they were walking down the street, Jongdae tried to categorize this feeling, but he couldn't think of anything similar. The dry, solid fingers in his didn't remind him of nervous dates, the security unlike the one he got from his parents as a child. It was just an odd situation, walking hand in hand with an android, a warm summer breeze fanning over their faces, and for some reason Jongdae thought it was one of those little, seemingly random moments that get stuck in your mind for a long time.

 

* * *

 

As an adult, Jongdae saw the summer festival for what it was - a big market with lots of curious and mostly crappy things on sale and artists trying to impress passersby.

Kyungsoo was having an absolute blast, and quite frankly, Jongdae was a bit scared he'd actually implode from excitement.

"How about this one?"

Jongdae looked up from the quite tacky shirts he'd been browsing at a booth to be assaulted with the mother of tackiness. A big net shirt slash dress, made of golden lamé and fat, ugly rhinestones all over it.

"Please put that back where you got it," Jongdae blankly said, and Kyungsoo threw a slightly confused and disappointed look at the monstrosity.

"Really? It's so pretty though."

Jongdae considered buying him a dictionary so Kyungsoo could check up on his definitions, and that’s when he already appeared in front of him again, with the next visual insult in his hands.

"This?"

Jongdae looked at straps of pink leather, a snakeskin pattern and not much else.

"Where did you even find- never mind, just please return it before I turn blind," Jongdae said, staring at the neon fabric with serious concern. Concern that was mirrored in Kyungsoo's eyes.

"Can that happen?"

He instantly lowered the poor excuse for a garment.

"I just thought it looked good."

Jongdae sighed and softly took the piece of fabric from him to hang it away.

"You know, that is totally up to you. If you like it, I respect that, but I don't think you realize in what kind of position wearing it would put you into."

"I thought wearing leather straps allowed you to try both positions-"

"Not _that_ kind of position," Jongdae cut him off, but it lacked any vigor or impatience.

"Look around. Look at the way other people are dressed."

The android followed his instruction and took exactly five seconds before making his judgement.

"Boring as shit."

Jongdae nodded.

"Exactly. I mean, uh. Objectively speaking, from what you're used to, it's probably boring. Now if you were to wear that fetish leather strap thingie, what do you think their reaction would be?"

"I'd stand out to them and look more interesting?" he suggested, and before Jongdae could go into the deep and depressing depths of society's oppressive nature, Kyungsoo remembered something.

"-oh, but I don't really need to stand out anymore because I don't need to be taken home anymore. Gotchu. Still, dressing boring on purpose seems like a waste."

Jongdae could only blink at all the assumptions thrown his way and decided not to comment on them for now. They picked a few colorful shirts and he was kinda glad androids didn't need a huge wardrobe. Finding shoes that didn't look comical on Kyungsoo took way longer and when they finally did, Jongdae was starving. They aimed for one of Jongdae's favourite little soup restaurants around the corner when Kyungsoo stopped in his tracks without warning, like a stubborn dog.

A question of 'What now-' died on his lips when Jongdae turned to see that an artist had caught Kyungsoo's attention. A traditional artist who was showcasing his paintings. Traditional art with paint on a canvas had become exceedingly rare, but it was Jongdae's favourite, so he could hardly blame Kyungsoo's interest. The android walked closer to examine studies of a busy street at night.

"Gorgeous, right?" Jongdae asked with a smile, tipping a few coins into the artist's box. He couldn't afford actually buying whole pieces off of every artist he liked, but the gesture was enough to make the artist smile gratefully and tip her hat.

"They are," Kyungsoo said, nose almost touching the protective layer of plastic, before switching to a very realistic-looking sketch of a single flower lying in a chaos of cables. "Though I don't get why anyone would spend money on this. You can just make them yourself, right?"

The artist shot him a _very_ disapproving look, and Jongdae frantically searched for words.

"Kyungsoo, please. Uhm. I'm very sorry for him. He's an android and he's kinda... new. Newborn."

That sounded weird, even to his own ears, but the artist relaxed immediately, the smile returning to her face.

"Do you want to give it a try?" she asked, offering Kyungsoo a simple pen.

His eyes flitted to Jongdae for confirmation, and he gave him the go ahead, undoubtedly a little curious how an android would draw like. He took the little sketchbook the artist offered him and stood before the big canvas showing a street. With long, precise movements, the pen was dragged over thick paper. It didn't take all that long until it stopped. The artist just sat there, smiling patiently, but Jongdae stepped closer to take a peek over his shoulder. Perfectly aligned lines mimicked the street, buildings and street lamps.

"Wow, you're really good at this!" he praised, but Kyungsoo wouldn't hear any of it.

"It's all wrong," he protested.

"Well, this painting is made of different materials-"

"No, materials considered," Kyungsoo impatiently cut him off. "It's all wrong. The alignment is too smooth and not even that accurate. The sketch is empty and dead. Not at all like the painting."

He sounded really frustrated and Jongdae didn't know how to cheer him up. He'd always naively assumed any type of craft would come easy to an android, and maybe that wasn't too far off. If he missed the _feelings_ , though...

"It's alright, it was your very first try," the artist chimed in, and due to his newfound respect, Kyungsoo hurried to turn to her and listen. "Finding your own language to convey your emotions until you're satisfied with them takes time. Painting takes a lot of practice."

Kyungsoo nodded, handing back the sketchbook and pen.

"This is the part where you might wanna apologize for being so presumptuous earlier," Jongdae lightly advised him, but Kyungsoo shrugged.

"Why? Not like I knew any better."

The artist actually chuckled at that.

"An android indeed."

"But thank you for teaching me better," Kyungsoo continued, with his smooth voice being even and serious for once.

"You're very welcome. You're actually unusual for an android, so it was a pleasure meeting you."

Kyungsoo seemed torn about how to reply, so he just smiled wished her a nice day.

By the time Jongdae finally got around to enjoying his soup, the sun was already setting and a brand new little sketch block and a few sealed pens were resting on Kyungsoo's lap, who kept looking down at them.

"Oh my god, I'm alive," Jongdae sighed, happily plucking a dumpling out of the savory soup.

"Nothing new there," Kyungsoo commented, earning a definitely not pouty look in return.

"It's a saying."

"Oh? What does it mean?" Kyungsoo asked, looking almost concerned.

"That the soup is really good."

He'd never been judged that hard by an android, who looked at him like he was drunk-rambling, and for some reason, Jongdae found that really funny.

"It's true though!" he defended himself with a wide grin. "You may not need food, but I haven’t eaten anything worth mentioning since breakfast and I'm starving. And if you're hungry, everything tastes better."

"So you're just telling _yourself_ that the soup is good because it's food," Kyungsoo skeptically said.

" _Nooo_ , it's amazing to begin with, and now it's heavenly!"

"If you say so...?"

Jongdae did and he meant it, and even though it was never wise to eat a lot after not eating for most of the day, he finished his bowl, bemoaning how stuffed he was - but there were no regrets, really. They were on their way home when a familiar, faint crackling sound was heard. Kyungsoo's grip on his hand tightened immediately, and Jongdae rubbed over his hand soothingly before the android could absently break his fingers or something.

"It's all good, nothing to worry about. It's just a firework."

Kyungsoo looked at the sky in faint worry as more and more cracks were heard. Luckily, Jongdae knew these streets like the back of his hand and knew just which turns to take to get a good view. There were a few other people standing in the parking lot of an apartment building, and the view wasn't anything to write home about, but the lights were visible and not too far away. Sprinkles of green and red filled the air, with gold sprinkles emitting a loud, prickly sound as they descended.

"The sky is colorful - just like back home," Kyungsoo said in utter awe.

"Yeah," Jongdae said, and for the lack of a better response, he squeezed his hand a little. It was unnaturally hard, but he didn't mind.

For a long time, they watched the fireworks in silence and the android seemed to forget about asking questions or rambling out his thoughts.

"I'm alive," he suddenly said.

"Hm?" Jongdae asked, taken aback.

"It means that the fireworks are good," Kyungsoo patiently explained. "And the market, too. It was good to begin with, but because I've been starved, it's even better."

Jongdae looked at him, watched the lights dance over ghostly white skin and reflect in his dark eyes that were firmly set on the sky.

He ruffled his hair and pulled him closer with an arm around his shoulders.

"Yeah. You're alive."


	3. Chapter 3

 

Androids could have a character. Jongdae knew that. There were differences in how elaborate the programming was - a working android in a restaurant might always be cheery and patient, but it might feel fake and unnatural to humans. There were androids living independent lives, albeit not too many, and most of them were almost impossible to differentiate from humans, excluding the appearance.

Kyungsoo was... neither this nor that. He was something in between, and it was peculiar in a way that Jongdae just couldn't put his finger on what was so off about him. His friends had told him that he was probably overwhelmed and biased - only to demand they got to meet him, which Jongdae had refused for the time being; because if anyone was overwhelmed it would be the android whose entire world had radically changed overnight.

Kyungsoo believed that it was kinda sad how all the light bulbs in the house were white or yellow.

Kyungsoo had woken him that day with a completely blank face, saying, "I lost my teddy bear. Can I sleep with you instead?"

When Jongdae asked him if he ever owned a teddy bear, he said no. ' _It's just a thing people say to each other_ '.

Kyungsoo was observant and quick-witted - he seemed to have memorized every single molecule in Jongdae's apartment by the second day, and used the knowledge to mock Jongdae for not being able to find his keys. Or his tablet. Or a pen.

And currently, Kyungsoo was poking a piece of Jongdae's breakfast with his finger.

"What is this?"

"A tomato. You shouldn't touch other people's food like that-"

"Why?"

"Because there's all sorts of germs on you."

"Hardly more than anywhere else. I don't even have any bodily fluids," Kyungsoo argued, and Jongdae sighed - which broke into a yawn. It was still too early.

"You can still catch dirt or dust. Humans like to pretend they don't get in contact with too much dirt."

"But the rest of the world is dirty, so-"

"I said _pretend_. And you know tomatoes. Ketchup is made from them."

Kyungsoo gave him this wide-eyed look Jongdae was growing eerily accustomed to, with this being only the start of their second week living together.

"Really? They look totally different though - if I mashed this, I wouldn't get ketchup. No way."

"Yeah, you'd also have to add a ton of sugar, soy sauce, salt, vinegar, and probably a load of other seasonings and ominous chemicals."

"Why?"

Why. With Kyungsoo, it was all _why_ and _how_ and _that makes no sense_.

"To make it look and taste like ketchup," Jongdae said patiently.

"Why go through all the effort when you can just eat a tomato like you do?" Kyungsoo asked skeptically.

"Because that's sort of the point of cooking - you process and refine ingredients for a nicer taste. And also it would look kinda stupid to put a big tomato on your fries."

"Why?"

Jongdae gave up.

"I was trying to be funny."

"Oh. Sorry," Kyungsoo said.

"I'm also sorry," Jongdae sighed, stuffing the last bit of omelette into his mouth. At first, he assumed this was what parenting felt like - answering countless fundamental questions. But children didn't question everything on the same level as Kyungsoo did. He was like a fully-developed adult that had spent his entire life living in a basement. Minus the emotional trauma. That was not too far from reality though, and that's why Jongdae stayed patient. He really was a patient person - it was just a little hard to stomach a hundred questions before he had as much as a glass of water.

Yes, they'd been living together for about a week, but Jongdae had spent most of that time at work, leaving Kyungsoo alone in his apartment. He felt guilty about that, but Kyungsoo didn't seem to mind. When Jongdae returned in the evening, scarfing down some fast food at the kitchen table, Kyungsoo usually just stated he'd had a nice day. Watched some videos, looked out of the window, read an old brochure he hadn't read before and the ingredients on the cornflakes box. He didn't express any active need to leave the house, and Jongdae wasn't sure whether he was simply content with what he had for now, or whether he was aware that venturing out on his own might be a bad idea at this point. Either way, Jongdae was glad about his compliance - he was pretty certain Kyungsoo wasn't registered, and as soon as he drew attention to himself, the authorities would probably look into him. Meaning at the first ominous pick up line, they'd probably take Kyungsoo away to a lab or something. Jongdae wouldn't want that.

There was no denying that the android learned steadily, but he had yet to accept that pick up lines were not a suitable conversation starter. Maybe the series he’d been watching online were only making things worse, Jongdae speculated. Still, today he deemed Kyungsoo ready for another little step towards the real world in all its dull glory and lack of tacky beats underlining it.

"Do you want to accompany me today?" he asked a while later, when the food was back in the fridge, except for the package of tomatoes Kyungsoo was currently scrutinizing. He was always quick to divert his attention to Jongdae though.

"Where to?" he asked, tilting his head.

"To work. It's just a short shift today since it's Sunday," Jongdae explained from the doorway, buttoning up his shirt.

"Would that be allowed?" Kyungsoo asked in disbelief. So many emotions in such a small android.

"I mean, you'd be pretty much on your own since I got work to do... but I'm sure you'll be fine. You'll probably like it."

"Like what?"

But Jongdae wouldn't elaborate. No matter how sneakily Kyungsoo worded his questions, Jongdae refused to spoil the surprise all the way down the stairs, into the subway and along the short walk they had to take. It was all worth it when they entered the building and Kyungsoo saw dozens and dozens of shelves lining the twisted interior, going up many stories... all stacked with books.

"There's so many of them!" Kyungsoo exclaimed, a little too loud for his environment, looking completely awe-struck. Jongdae couldn't keep the cheshire grin off his face.

"I told you you'd like it."

"I've never seen a store this huge - can I read the backs of all of them?" he asked, earnest enthusiasm painted all over his face. Jongdae bit his lips to stop the ridiculous grin.

"Even better - you can read the entire books to your heart's content. Or to your tech's content, whichever works for you."

"What? But..."

Kyungsoo thought about it, brows scrunching together, thinking hard, as Jongdae threw a glance at the old-fashioned clock on the wall. There was still plenty of time.

"But if you read them all, then you would only buy those that you'd want to read again. Though you wouldn’t even have to do that because you can just come back to read them again-"

"That's exactly the point. This is a library, Kyungsoo," Jongdae patiently explained as he walked further into the building, Kyungsoo trailing after him. "It's a big storage for books, and anyone can read them here. You can also borrow them and take them home, but you gotta bring them back all in one piece. Some books have become rather rare, though, so you can only read them here."

"Just like that? Doesn't it cost anything?" Kyungsoo asked incredulously. "Someone has to pay you, right?"

An odd way of approaching a foreign system, but Kyungsoo had grown up among part-timers and bartenders, so the concept of work equaling pay was deeply ingrained in his mind. Most androids found the idea of payment in itself hard to grasp (because why build up a society on pressure and currencies if they could all just do what's necessary? what do you mean, humans are stupid and greedy?) - at least that's what Jongdae got from the movies. He might be wrong. He might have to meet more androids.

"I'm getting paid, don't worry. Pretty well, actually. As I said, books are pretty treasured nowadays, and the library is financed by the government, though it does take donations, too."

" _Oooh_..." Kyungsoo breathed out, his gaze trailing over the rows and rows of books as they took a flight of stairs.

"Is this why you have no books at home?" he suddenly asked. Jongdae was getting whiplash all around the clock at this point.

"What? Why would you think that?"

"Well, you can just read everything here!"

"Oh," Jongdae said dumbly. "Yes. _Yeah_. That is totally the reason I don't own many books."

Kyungsoo was a master at sarcasm, both detecting and using it, but he was still too starstruck and distracted to mention it. It was adorable. Jongdae loved seeing happy people.

"I'll give you my library card and then I'll clock in. I won't really be available for you while I'm working, but you can read any book you want till the end of my shift. How does that sound?"

"Exciting," Kyungsoo replied, rather curt, but genuine. It seemed like he forgot about his over-the-top demeanour when he was distracted. Or excited.

"Great. There are instructions and guidelines about the library and how you use your card. You can find them over there. I doubt you will have trouble understanding them. Just please," Jongdae began, placing both hands on Kyungsoo's shoulders so the android would pay close attention. Indeed, his eyes flickered up to meet his gaze.

"Please don't hit on anyone. In fact, it's probably for the best if you keep interaction with strangers to a minimum. Okay?"

Jongdae looked into an obviously confused expression.

"Why would I bother engaging with anyone when there's so many books around me?"

Jongdae sighed, and then patted his shoulder.

"Good attitude. I'll see you later, have fun."

Instead of an attempted kiss - which Jongdae had taught him was very inappropriate in public, especially the kisses Kyungsoo had in mind - the android took his hand, squeezed it and smiled at him.

"I will."

 

A few minutes later, Jongdae slipped into his uniform with a smile mirroring Kyungsoo's. It was as if he'd borrowed a bit of his happiness. Luckily for him, he was on shift with Jongin that day, who was a quiet, withdrawn guy - not the type to mess with Jongdae or tease him for his dopey smile. They shared the front desk, where Jongin stood ready to assist customers in need, while Jongdae checked a few recently returned books for damages, changed out protective book covers before sorting them in between the others, so he could place them back later. Sure, all of this could be automated, but in order to both match the spirit of books and ensure the best, possible outcome, most tasks were still done manually. Librarians were surprisingly well-respected, and Jongdae liked his job. It required precision, a keen eye for detail, provided an option to broaden his horizon in the technical department (which Jongdae wasn’t terribly interested in, to be honest, but it was nice to have), and, most importantly, social skills. As much as people could be astonishingly dumb and annoying, he still preferred them over being surrounded by dead machines all day. That wasn't for everyone, but Jongdae was a social person, and there was nothing he could do about that.

"You can just leave this one here," Jongin said, pointing at a thick novel with a starkly blue cover. "People have been waiting for this to be returned - I'm sure they'll snatch it off the desk within minutes."

Jongdae complied with a shrug, picking the book out of the cart and placing it next to Jongin, who smiled at it as if it was an especially pretty flower. He never questioned Jongin's decisions.

Because while Jongdae was good at his job, there was one minor issue.

He didn't read. At all.

Not like he couldn't, and he had read a few comic books as a kid, but other than that? Stereo silence.

Jongdae just wasn't the type to read. It was ironic, but he didn't think it was necessary to force himself to read. This was a job, and he was doing it well. Besides, if anyone wanted personal guidance, they could search the net... or ask Jongin.

Jongin was the biggest bookworm Jongdae had ever seen. The soft-spoken boy with the untameable curls and very sporadic use of contact lenses, had his nose buried in books in every free, given second, and seemed to know the content of the library inside out - even if he still didn't know the shelves by heart. Or the floors.

Jongin was such an eager reader that it remained a mystery to Jongdae how he'd maintain his healthy, golden tint. Jongin had simply said that he liked to read outside, too. That's why it was nothing out of the ordinary for Jongin to borrow books for himself, even on their way to the break room. While Jongin scoured a shelf for a book, Jongdae waved at Kyungsoo, who had been occupying a table all by himself. It was as if the android had an inbuilt radar filtering out random movements from Jongdae moving, because he immediately looked up and smiled brightly, waving back. Jongdae approached the table, and Kyungsoo got up to meet him halfway, giving away his still prevalent excitement.

"How is work?" he asked, and then, "how much longer is your shift?"

"Only two more hours," Jongdae replied, resisting the urge to boop the other's nose, "Sorry to disappoint. But it won't be my last work day."

"Okay."

"You like it here so far?"

"Yes, it's amazing. Mind-blowing. I found, like, so many good books!"

"You can take some home if you want. What have you found so far?"

Kyungsoo lit up even more, if that even was physically possible. Maybe he had an inbuilt glow up function Jongdae didn't know about.

"This one-"

He lifted a new-looking book and the image of shutterstock abs glared at Jongdae, complete with a photoshopped tribal tattoo spread across a naked chest. Behind him, Jongin spluttered. Jongdae shot him an apologetic look.

"You found your book, huh?" he asked Kyungsoo, praying the other would move on from this quickly. He didn’t.

"It's really interesting - one of them is about vampires, and they suck blood, just like you told me!"

"Amazing," Jongdae breathed out for the lack of an actual response. Jongin was still doing this thing where you try to keep in your laugh and make ugly snorting sounds.

"That is," he forced out, trying to compose himself, "an interesting choice. I don't think I’ve ever seen anyone pick that one up."

Kyungsoo looked at him, genuinely shocked.

"Really? That's such a shame, it's really good. You should give it a shot!"

"If you say so, I definitely will."

Jongin was now looking at Jongdae, grin so wide that nothing could keep it at bay. Jongdae had never seen his colleague so amused, so that was probably a nice thing.

"So, you're friends?" he asked, and Jongdae rubbed his neck.

"Eh, well..."

He lowered his voice and leaned forward a bit.

"He's an android who's living with me, but maybe keep quiet about it for now?"

Surprise bloomed on Jongin's face, who looked at Kyungsoo in an obviously different light after that.

"Oh. So- so you're roommates," he backpedaled from whatever was on his mind, extending his hand. "I'm Jongin, nice to meet you."

Kyungsoo stared at the extended hand, gears obviously ticking. Jongdae stared at him, fearing the worst. _Please don't do anything inappropriate, please don't slap his butt, I know you watched some drama series, please-_

He took Jongin's hand and shook it in an exaggerated, overly proper motion. Jongdae exhaled in relief.

"Hi, I'm Kyungsoo. It's handy that I have my library card because I'm totally checking you out."

The sound of Jongdae facepalming drowned in Jongin's laughter.

 

* * *

 

 

"There were even books about medication for specific animals, that's just insane!"

Jongdae hummed, took a slurp from his chilled fruit juice, and punched in the code to his apartment, with a never-ending string of basic library facts following after him.

"Though the books on human medicine were much larger in number - I wonder whether there's a lot of duplicate information in there-"

"I'm sure there is," Jongdae said, toeing off his shoes, "because everyone wants their book to be read even if there are ten other similar books available."

"Right..." Kyungsoo trailed off, still mind-blown in every way, when another sudden thought seemed to have made it up the priority list.

"So why don't you read? I cannot understand how anyone would not be interested in just learning all these things - it's so easy and free!"

Jongdae ruffled his hair with a shake of his head.

"Great to see you know the value of free things," he said, but Kyungsoo wouldn't let him off that easy, following him into his bedroom.

"So why? Do you already know all these things? Have they become boring to you?" he prodded, sitting on the edge of the bed while Jongdae unbuttoned his shirt.

"No, I definitely don't know everything, but if I need anything, I just look it up online."

"But how do you know what you'd love to know if you don't know it yet?"

Jongdae blinked. Kyungsoo looked confused, a bit like he had confused himself, and while he re-considered his question, Jongdae got rid of the shirt and the one underneath. The dress shirt went on the hanger, the other in the laundry.

"I mean, don't you miss out on a lot of knowledge and great stories?"

Jongdae wouldn't admit it out loud, but he tried to keep his back to Kyungsoo until he had slipped into a fresh shirt. It was silly to be shy in front of an android, but he couldn't help it.

"Ah, I just... I'm just not very interested in reading novels, that's all," he explained distractedly as he tugged out a pale blue shirt, one that was folded neatly and certainly freshly washed. "They're not bad, but it's pretty time consuming and involves a lot of sitting around. I'd rather watch movies instead."

"You're also just sitting if you watch a movie," Kyungsoo said, and if it was anyone else, Jongdae would have groaned at the discussion he'd had a dozen times before, but Kyungsoo wasn't trying to accuse him, he was trying to _understand_.

"But a movie is over in an hour or two. Likely two, to be honest. I don't really need to get immersed in a fictional tale for days on end," he shrugged, when a sudden question popped up in his head and he turned to Kyungsoo, no longer shirtless, "why do people even consume fictional stories? What good do they do? Ever asked yourself that question?"

Kyungsoo obviously hadn't. It was just obvious in his expression, that went wide and unguarded. Jongdae took pity on the overwhelmed android and patted his shoulder. Kyungsoo liked touching, liked it more than it was appropriate and socially accepted, but there were certain gestures Jongdae could definitely offer.

"It's okay, I'm not pushing for a definite answer or anything. There's probably none. I just prefer to spend my free time in a different way."

With this, he left for the kitchen and, predictably, Kyungsoo followed, a reply on his tongue already.

"By dancing at clubs," he stated. Jongdae had the decency to feel at least a little ashamed - not of the fact that he went partying, but of the fact that he'd ended up at a club as shabby as Kyungsoo's.

"Sometimes," he admitted. "But not that often, actually."

"Then what else would you do? Go out and visit festivals?"

"Those don't happen all that often," Jongdae laughed, getting his backpack to stuff a bottle of water inside. "I'm meeting up with some friends. You wanna come along and meet them? I'll show you what I do in my free time."

Kyungsoo looked intrigued, maybe even a bit guarded, as if any activity beyond dancing at clubs and reading (and maybe watching drama series) was highly questionable. That's because it was, to him, Jongdae reminded himself. He slipped back into his shoes and while Kyungsoo did the same, he swung the heavy backpack over his shoulder and rummaged through a cupboard filled with old stuff. When he found what he was looking for, Jongdae offered it to Kyungsoo, who was cluelessly holding on to what must be an entirely foreign, mysterious object to him.

"You'll need these," Jongdae said, giving Kyungsoo something to mull over on their way to meet his friends.

 

* * *

 

 

By the time they left the subway station, Kyungsoo had figured out that they were shoes, but part of him refused to believe it. Even when Jongdae explained it to him, he only got this disbelieving stare in return that was so judging, Jongdae kind of felt like an idiot even though he knew he wasn't talking nonsense. If Kyungsoo was a superhero, that would probably be his super power. Judgement, literally.

They exited the station and aimlessly walked down the pavement, avoiding the moving part - Jongdae wasn't _that_ lazy and in perfect health condition. The sun was still pretty high up in the sky, aggressively shining down and reflecting off the bright grey street and feeding the planted trees with precious light. Kyungsoo had complained about that at first, stating how it was way too bright and  he couldn't see. He'd purposefully spent half a day trying to adjust his eyesight, which he'd never had to do, not to that extent. Jongdae was definitely envious of his skills, but also not too envious, because at least he knew how to use his body. Kyungsoo obviously didn't have an inbuilt handbook telling him how his body worked, and that seemed tiresome.

"Where are we going?" Kyungsoo asked, soaking up the foreign environment.

"The park, over there," Jongdae gestured, already spotting his friends in the distance. It was hard to miss Chanyeol and Sehun, who were both ridiculously tall and usually sported bright hair colors. At the moment, Sehun's hair was short and bright orange, while Chanyeol still wore his wild perm in an unforgivingly bright, fire truck red. It was enough to be blinding all on its own, and they obviously had to endure Jongdae giving them nicknames after various vegetables, but that didn't seem to put them off. In fact, while both of them could be whiny and dramatic, there was hardly anything that could put them down for good. They were of a fighting nature and Jongdae had some deeply rooted respect and admiration for them. For all his friends, really.

They were waving at Jongdae and Kyungsoo from where they sat on a bench, bathing in the sunlight. The closer they got, the farther Kyungsoo seemed to walk behind him. It surprised Jongdae that he was be nervous, but then again, saying playboy pick up lines to strangers and being confident didn't exactly go hand in hand.

"Hey guys, am I late?" he greeted them, high-fiving Chanyeol, because that was their thing, and meeting Sehun's gaze with a smile.

"Aren't you always late?" Sehun then asked lazily, which Jongdae refused to accept.

"That is a fake rumor made by you and you alone - I'm a very punctual person, you just coincidentally hang out at our meeting points way too early," Jongdae stated with crossed arms, before remembering the android standing practically behind him at this point. He stepped aside, placing an arm around Kyungsoo's shoulders.

"This is Kyungsoo, I told you about him."

They both looked interested, and Jongdae bit back a warning for them not to ogle. Kyungsoo would probably like being ogled, anyway.

As usual, Chanyeol demanded attention first, his hand outstretched and a hearty smile brightening up the overall mood.

"I'm Chanyeol, hi."

Remembering the earlier incident, Kyungsoo obediently took his hand, shook it, and said nothing more than a stiff "Hi," - it made for an almost comical exchange when Sehun greeted him in an equally curt, but not unfriendly way. That was just how Sehun was though - he was a rookie actor, meaning that he was more often than not surrounded by strangers with possibly impure or at the very least unfriendly intentions. He didn't open up that easily. Much unlike Chanyeol.

"So you’ve never been skating before?" he immediately asked, scooting over on the bench and patting it until Kyungsoo took the hint.

"I don't think I've ever seen an android wear inline skaters," Sehun blurted out and seemed to immediately regret it. Kyungsoo didn't take offense though, seeing as he had never seen an inline skating android either. He watched in skeptic wonder as Jongdae helped him get into his old skates. Meanwhile, Chanyeol's mouth was running on autopilot.

"We used to be four people, which is always great cause you can play two versus two, right? But then Baek, another friend of ours, moved out of the country recently," he rambled, fingers drumming on his knees. "He works as a white collar guy, which is a little strange if you know him, but anyway, he's pretty good and was transferred, so we couldn't really play against each other anymore. So it's cool you're here!"

"Chanyeol," Sehun began blankly, "No one's listening to you except for me, and I already know all that."

"You're just mean, you know that? And also-"

"No, I was listening," Kyungsoo corrected him, looking up from where Jongdae was tying the skates to his feet. He kept subtly shuffling his feet, getting a feel for the new, foreign weight of the shoes. "You shouldn't drink any more. You're doing great now, but it'll get worse if you don't stop now."

"What?" Chanyeol asked in an earnest confusion that, as usual, rubbed off on Kyungsoo, who in turn got confused as well. From the ground, Jongdae paused clicking the snaps into places, because by now, he had a pretty good grasp on Kyungsoo's obvious way of thinking.

"He's telling you that you sound like a happy drunk," he blankly said, just to enjoy the way Sehun snorted and understanding bloomed on Chanyeol's face just a second too late.

"What? _Hey_ , I'm not drunk-" he defended himself, nudging Kyungsoo's side and then whining about how hard his skin was, sparking a conversation about their recent trips (or lack thereof) to the gym.

"There you go," Jongdae said, patting the side of one of the skates. "It's all done and should be tight enough. Come on, let's test the fit."

He got to his feet and offered his hand. Kyungsoo ignored him and naturally tried to stand up, obviously miscalculating what the wheels under his feet would feel like, and smacking back into the bench butt first. Jongdae stared at his friends, dared them to laugh, but Chanyeol was wise enough to hold back (and Sehun wasn't the type to laugh at people who he didn't know could take it).

"We'll take it easy, I'll help you," he assured him, and this time Kyungsoo did take his hand, getting up agonizingly slowly. It _was_ a bit comical, the way he looked like a cat walking over soft ground for the first time. But Jongdae had this inborn instinct of helping out people who were lost in any way, so he only took his hand and gently led him away from the bench. At first, Kyungsoo didn't do anything and let Jongdae drag him along slowly, stumbling over the slightest uneven bumps on the ground.

"Try to move your feet to push yourself forward and gain control of your movement," he instructed softly. For a while, it was silent as Kyungsoo cautiously tried to understand the concept of inline skating. They walked down the asphalted ground while Sehun and Chanyeol noisily rode around the park's little skating rink, already competing for speed. It was rather run-down, since people rarely used it anymore. People rarely left the house anymore, really. Places like the park, which was once used as a go-to place for people to enjoy being outside, were mostly deserted these days. Jongdae wasn't too sad about that - it was kinda magical, having such a wide space to themselves.

"How do you find friends?"

The question came out of nowhere, coming out rather tense as Kyungsoo was still trying to maintain balance.

"Well..." Jongdae began, thinking about it. It was a question that bothered quite a lot of people, regardless of their kind or upbringing.

"You see, we don't really say we're ' _finding friends_ ', but we ' _make friends_ '," he explained, squeezing his fingers, anticipating a tumble that never came. "People put in an effort to get to know each other and if they're compatible and like each other, they become friends."

"Can people be friends with androids, too?"

"Do you want to be friends with those two, too?" Jongdae asked, slightly amused. Kyungsoo thought about it.

"I don't know. I'm trying to figure out where my place is supposed to be."

Jongdae smiled and walked just ahead enough to be able to catch Kyungsoo's gaze.

"It can be wherever you want it to be," he said and began to tug a little harder at Kyungsoo, until he had to jog to keep up with the breathless, highly overwhelmed android. He kept jogging until he had to run, Kyungsoo's worried claims that they were going too fast flying after them. They skated and ran until Jongdae ran out of breath and slowed them down, explained how to brake, and even though they were fairly slow already, Kyungsoo's failed attempt at braking sent them both to the ground.

"Are you alright?" Jongdae asked, and his own shock was mimicked in Kyungsoo's face.

"Yes?"

For some reason, Jongdae chuckled. It was just funny, and somehow nice. This day was nice. He leaned back on his hands, where tiny pieces of gravel were piercing his palms, letting the sunlight rain down on him. Next to him, Kyungsoo closed his eyes.

"I'm so excited," he stated curiously. "I've never been so excited before."

He opened them when Jongdae grabbed his hand, inspected the spot where gravel had dug into his artificial skin.

"Aww man, I'm sorry. This can be fixed, right? I think there's bandaids for stuff like this."

"Why are you sorry?" Kyungsoo asked, watching his face attentively. "You fell, too."

"That makes it fair, huh?" Jongdae asked with a grin, but Kyungsoo wasn't swayed easily. Unless he was on skates, that is.

"It's like drawing. It seems like you need practice for this, too," he said both patiently and earnestly, "I wouldn't have gotten this far without your help."

It was odd how refreshing Kyungsoo’s unguarded, simple honesty  was. It made Jongdae realize that humans really liked to make communication among each other harder than it needed to be.

"I'll help you anytime if you want me to," he replied, wishing to be a little more like this, too. Kyungsoo hesitated, looked at the gravel on his hand and back at Jongdae.

"Can you help me make friends when it gets difficult?"

"You want some friends?" Jongdae asked, because basic questions like this weren't uncalled for, not when it came to Kyungsoo. The other nodded.

"I have to try if I want to understand. I want to try having friends so I can understand how it works and find my place."

"Sure."

With this, Jongdae got to his feet and offered both his hands, awkwardly pulling Kyungsoo up.

"If that's what you want, I'll help you - if you even need me at all," he joked, and Kyungsoo's worried grimace prompted him to laugh.

Chanyeol and Sehun called out for them from the rink, demanding they come and play, calling them childish names like snails.

"Start with those two dopey idiots over there," Jongdae suggested, walking towards the rink with Kyungsoo following him, slowly, but all on his own. "They're so simple though, your android brain might feel insulted by the lack of a challenge."

"But what is a snail?" Kyungsoo only asked, and Jongdae gestured towards the rink.

"Go ask them. I'll get into my skates and join you in a second."

 

* * *

 

 

It turned out that Kyungsoo was far from ready to play hockey in skates (or without skates, really), so he spent the golden hour of dawn watching them spar against each other in a silly, uncoordinated way. It seemed to excite Kyungsoo, and at some point, he started to round the rink from outside, one hand on the railing, eager to learn how to master the 'absurd, wheeled shoes'. By the time they left, he had another scrape on his forearm, but could proudly say that he didn't need the railing anymore.

It was the most adorable thing, how Kyungsoo passed out as soon as he hit the cushions of his bed. Who would have thought that androids needed sleep just as badly as humans? Jongdae drew the curtains shut and after a quick shower, he crawled under his own blanket with a pleasant ache running down his legs. What a nice day indeed. His gaze fell upon his work bag, and he remembered the books he had stuffed in there earlier. It was a quite desperate stretch that made him almost fall off his bed, but he got a grip of the bag's strap and pulled it closer.

Kyungsoo had borrowed three books, and Jongdae had been too caught up in the other's excitement to really look at them. He pulled them out now, placing them on the nightstand. The first one he already knew - the tacky vampire novel. He flipped it around to read the summary. Hot, beautiful femme fatale, hot, beautiful vampire guy, both meeting in a raunchy club. He flipped it back to the front and now he noticed the terribly cheap photo of a disco ball printed in a corner. The book took place in a club - no wonder it had caught Kyungsoo's attention. It was probably impossible for Jongdae to understand what such a book meant to him, and how he felt while reading it. He placed the book back on the nightstand and reached for the second one. It was an overly colorful book, obviously aimed at children, maybe elementary schoolers. The title spelled 'Animals From **_A_** nt to **_Z_** ebra' in thick, childish letters, and it made Jongdae smile. The only animals Kyungsoo had seen so far were flies, a few birds from afar, the occasional dog and maybe a butterfly. What must it be like, to discover the existence of animals so late in your life?

Jongdae picked up the last book with a shadow of a smile still ghosting across his face, but it got smaller, more retained, until it was just a memory.

The last book had a very child-like cover, too, with a white drawing of a girl on black background, her long hair waving behind her, bare feet standing in the grass. She looked up at the stars, the moon, birds and a tiny rocket. "Am I a Rocket or a Bird?" was written on top of it all, in clumsy, cursive handwriting. Jongdae flipped it around to read the summary. It was a story about an android girl who questioned life. _What does it mean, to be a girl? Does it mean anything? Do I wish for anything, and what if I don't? Am I like a human-made rocket? Or more like a bird?_

Jongdae slowly flipped through the book, soft pictures flying by in a blur. For some reason, reading it now wouldn't feel right to him. Like this was something personal, something Kyungsoo had a right to read first. So he placed it down and reached for the vampire novel instead, flipping open the front page, reading about a sexy brunette grinding up on a stranger. It didn't entirely chase away the weird feeling he had, but it was softer like this, more bearable.

Still, when he turned off the lights later, and even in the shower and when he made breakfast the next day, the faint echo of ' _Am I like a rocket or a bird?'_ wouldn't leave his mind.

 


	4. Chapter 4

_My body is made of metal so surely, I am closer to a rocket than a bird._

_As a rocket, life is easy. You only have to keep being a rocket and do what a rocket does - fly into space and then safely land again. A rocket doesn’t have to think for itself, because someone else is the pilot._

_I wouldn't be sad about being a rocket._

_But then I looked at all the other rockets and realized that I wasn't as nice as them. There were many different rockets and I couldn't help comparing._

_A rocket doesn't compare itself to other rockets._

 

 

_____

 

 

 

"Jongdae."

Warm, plush, comfortable. Lying in bed was the best feeling in the world. _Sleeping_ was the best feeling in the world.

"Jongdae."

Waking up and having to get up immediately was one of the worst ways to start the day.

"Jongdae, you're awake. You missed your alarm."

Jongdae grunted, turned to the side and embraced his second, wonderfully cool cushion.

"Five more minutes."

"Should I set you another alarm?"

Jongdae hummed noncommittally. To be honest, his workplace could suck it with the early shifts.

"Jongdae, I have a question."

"Mmmhwhat."

"What exactly _is_ love?"

Alright, maybe _this_ was the worst way to start into the day.

 "Not now, Soo..."

"Love is not now?"

It certainly isn't, Jongdae wanted to reply, but that would only lead them further down a rabbit hole of misunderstandings.

With a huff, he turned towards Kyungsoo, squinting up at the android sitting beside his bed. He looked awake, unruffled and just overall annoyingly perfect.

"Love is a bodily reaction made by hormones and biology and shit - not really shit, just other stuff that's hard to understand. It developed over time to make people wanna reproduce efficiently and stick together afterwards," he rattled down sleepily. Deep down, he already knew he there was no more sleep in it for him. He simply refused to accept it, though. Just a little longer he, thought, rubbing his eyes.

Just a little longer.

"Okay."

Jongdae yawned. He was getting the hang of giving simple explanations.

"But what _is_ it?"

Or not.

"I see its origin and function, but how does it play out?"

"Your vocab seems to be growing," Jongdae mumbled instead of answering from top to bottom, feeling the pleasant pull in his muscles.

"That's because it is. Do you not know the answer to that question?"

Jongdae let out an exasperated, dragged out " _aaaah_ ", ruffling Kyungsoo's hair and then sitting up.

"You're the worst alarm clock ever and you’ve got no snooze function at all!" He complained, but there was a hint of a smile on his face.

"Why do I have to snooze? You should be the one snoozing. And-"

"Yes, yes, answer the question, I get it," Jongdae brushed him off, feeling more and more like an answering machine.

"Love expresses itself in deep, binding affection that you feel towards another being," Jongdae dutifully replied as he switched off the snooze function of his actual alarm clock. "Your brain gets...tricked or something, and you're made available to that person. Like, you don't really see their flaws and have the urge to appease to them...objective perception! That was the term I'm looking for. It screws with your objective perception."

"Oh. That sounds bad," Kyungsoo commented guilelessly. Jongdae snorted.

"Well. It's okay. It also feels good, so there's a bit of a reward for all the hassle."

"In what way does it feel good?" Kyungsoo prodded without missing a beat, but Jongdae brought an end to the question and answer game. It was still too early.

"You know, some people - and I'm including myself in this," he began, finally getting up to grab a fresh pair of socks and underwear, "are not ready to have a meaningful conversation _right after they’ve just woken up_. Unlike your super android mind, my inferior human brain needs some time to boot and reassemble everything."

He tugged a shirt off the back of his chair, doing his best to ignore Kyungsoo's skeptical stare.

"But 'reproduction' works just fine in the morning? You have strange priorities." 

Jongdae instinctively covered his morning wood,  then decided to toss his shirt at Kyungsoo instead.

"You suck," he whined half-heartedly and fled to the shower before Kyungsoo could throw  another innuendo at him. At this point, he was surely doing it on purpose – just because it ticked Jongdae off.

Jongdae fleetingly thought that even if the opportunity presented itself, he'd probably not be able to have sex in his own apartment without Kyungsoo peeking inside and asking about the exact components of lube.

That thought was sad enough to take care of his morning wood.

 

* * *

 

 

That friend was supposedly an expert when it came to androids, and apparently, he'd be discreet, too. When it came to androids, the profession of a general doctor was very rare - instead, there were a dozen specialized professions that Jongdae couldn't tell apart (he really had to work on curing his own ignorance).

Wu  Yifan was not a doctor, but an analyst  - someone who could read an android's settings and evaluate them. Jongdae wondered how close he and Jongin were, if he was willing to take a look at an unregistered android  It was a little risky, but they couldn't draw this out forever. They had to know more about Kyungsoo and his specifications. The idea of Jongdae accidentally hurting Kyungsoo or exposing him to something he reacted badly to was awful. The one of Kyungsoo suddenly malfunctioning or shutting down was even worse. No, they had to do this. Kyungsoo shared his sentiment; and for once, they seemed to operate in perfect harmony, driven by a mix of anticipation and nervousness.

They'd been told to come in after three, which meant that Jongdae could enjoy a nice, long nap after work before even thinking of getting ready. Sadly, Kyungsoo was not entirely exhausted and seemed to have used the time to drive himself a little crazy. The entire way to the store he listed terrifying accidents that had happened in the past.

"Kyungsoo, Kyungsoo, _stop_ ," Jongdae finally interfered as they exited the subway station.

"You should never look up stuff like that online, that's basic knowledge."

"Why? Because it affects our will to take risks?" Kyungsoo asked, walking very closely next to Jongdae. He always did that, as if he was afraid of getting lost. Jongdae sighed.

"Mostly because it'll drive you insane. You could get a bruise from bumping into a table and the internet would tell you it's likely a terminal illness."

"So you're saying it's all lies?"

Jongdae snorted at his naivety, and made a mental note to teach him more about the internet.

"No, I'm saying that these cases are all highly unlikely and seeing them instead of the majority of unproblematic cases makes you feel paranoid."

"Oh. So you think...," Kyungsoo began, lowering his voice unsurely, "that visiting a shop will be fine?"

Jongdae assured him of that, even when he felt a little nervous himself. Especially seeing the very much official-looking building a while later. The place looked clean in every sense of the word, with informative posters hanging on the high windows and obscuring most of what lay behind. For some reason, he'd expected something a little less.... nice. Which was ridiculous, of course, because he wouldn't like for a shady person to look at Kyungsoo, but-

"Are we gonna go in? We're late by a few minutes already," Kyungsoo predictably informed him, and Jongdae grabbed his hand and marched towards the entrance. It did an astounding job at silencing Kyungsoo, who gently squeezed his hand back. It felt almost nostalgic, remembering Jongdae of how he had led him out of the club.

"It's closed," Kyungsoo mumbled, but Jongdae was already ringing the doorbell. For a few, long seconds they stood there, staring at closed blinds, when the door opened and they were met with the sight of a broad chest.

"Good day. You're Jongin's friend?"

Jongdae looked up and absently noticed Kyungsoo doing the same.

"Y-yes," Jongdae muttered, momentarily stunned by the presence of someone even taller than Chanyeol. "I'm Jongdae."

He offered his hand to shake, which led to the android doctor taking it with a hand so huge Jongdae wasn't sure whether to be attracted or terrified. Maybe a bit of both. Bad combination.

"Nice to meet you. I'm-"

"Tall."

The analyst looked over at Kyungsoo, looking almost amused.

"You're," he began, but then thought otherwise and stepped aside. "Come in first."

Kyungsoo was still squeezing his hand as they stepped inside. It looked like a regular office room at first sight and so far, the doctor stuck out the most. His voice was even deeper than Kyungsoo's, Jongdae dimly noted. In contrast to his intimidating appearance, he wore a fluffy, blue pullover that actually calmed Jongdae a bit. Maybe he wore it on purpose. Maybe he also wore those really thick, silly-looking bracelets and the showy wrist watch on purpose.

"Let's have a seat," analyst Wu said calmly, and they both followed his instructions like nervous kids, quickly taking a seat at one end of the low table in the right corner of the room. The analyst took a seat across from them, gesturing at the clean glasses being put face down on a tablet.

"Help yourselves if you're thirsty. So, I'm Wu Yifan. Please call me Yifan. I'm a coding analyst specialized on AI's."

"I'm Jongdae," Jongdae repeated, simply because he didn't know what to say. "The guy who found an android and took him home."

He looked at Kyungsoo, who was still staring at Yifan with wide eyes. The silent call to action worked.

"I'm Kyungsoo, the android who was taken home," he stated, and he'd never sounded so mechanic before. Then he added, "man, you are _really_ tall. Men and Women must love you."

Jongdae's smile stayed all the same, but he bit his lips as he stared ahead, not wanting to be responsible for anything that left Kyungsoo's unfiltered mouth.

To his surprise, a grin tugged at Wu Yifan's lips and he didn't seem annoyed at all when addressing Kyungsoo.

"Not nearly as much as you probably think," he brushed him off, and now his entire attention lay on the little android, who was currently squeezing Jongdae's fingers very hard under the table.

"So, Kyungsoo, what brings you here?" he asked, not unkindly.

"Nothing," came the immediate reply.

"He's nervous," Jongdae explained, but Yifan barely paid attention to him.

"Nothing?" he repeated, and Kyungsoo nodded.

"There's no information on me, and that is a big safety hazard, for both Jongdae and me."

"You seem very nervous," the analyst stated, and Kyungsoo actually shrugged.

"Well. I don't know what’s expecting me in terms of the examination. I might also get arrested and give Jongdae trouble. And also I don't want him to be disappointed if it's revealed that I'm a crappy android."

Jongdae blinked, but it simply wasn't his time to speak up, seeing as the two were entirely excluding him at the moment. Even so, Kyungsoo was still holding his hand under the table.

"You think you might be...crappy?" Yifan repeated, obviously unhappy about using such a crude word in a professional setting. Kyungsoo made a doubtful, drawn out 'eh' sound, complete with an unsure hand gesture, and Yifan snorted, his hand flying up to his mouth.

"I'm. Sorry," he quickly said, but now Jongdae was sort of grinning, as well, and Kyungsoo looked between them, awkward and unsure.

"You're really something. I see what Jongin meant when he described you as unique."

Kyungsoo wasn't so easily convinced.

"Unique good or unique bad?"

"Let's find out," Yifan said as he got to his feet. "Can't be that bad though, from the looks of it."

They followed Yifan into the back room, with Kyungsoo stage-whispering to Jongdae.

_"Did he just hit on me?"_

Jongdae wanted to cry a little.

" _No. No, he did not_ ," he stage-whispered back with utter certainty. Well, at least the hot android doctor hadn't been an option in the first place - or else Jongdae might be sad about Kyungsoo so thoroughly burning all the bridges before Jongdae had even thought of building them. But no, hot android doctor was already taken - moments ago, Jongdae had recognized one of his tacky bracelets to be the same, colorful bear bracelet Jongin wore as well.

Jongdae felt a little cheated. Jongin, who was always quiet about his private life and acted as nothing but nondescript, secretly had a thing going with a guy who wasn't only highly educated, but also steaming hot. It made Jongdae feel like a random side character in a movie. He'd probably missed the moment to blankly look into the camera, just reflecting on the unfairness of life.

"Kyungsoo, please take a seat over there."

Jongdae was ripped out of his thoughts by a tug on his hand. He looked down and at Kyungsoo, who was also staring at their hands, unwilling to let go. Jongdae pulled away first.

"It will be fine," he reassured him, and while Kyungsoo looked tempted to give him a sassy remark, he didn't. Jongdae pulled out one of the simple chairs and sat in Kyungsoo's line of vision, really just two or three steps away.

While Yifan bustled around to flick switches and switch on screens and machines, Jongdae took a further look at the room. It still looked squeaky clean and professional, and less terrifying than an actual doctor's office - though that was entirely subjective, since what might be terrifying to him and to an android could be very different. Jongdae didn't know what to make of all these cables and screens showing numbers, so he could only sit back and have faith in the analyst. Who was finally taking a seat as well, next to Kyungsoo.

"Alright. You see all these little stickers here?" he asked. They both followed his loosely pointing finger to see stickers indeed, all small and golden.

"Take a good look, cause that's what official ones look like. They act as a certificate for me and my methods and machinery to be clean and trustworthy," Yifan explained calmly, almost routinely. He must have a lot of first time patients.

"Never allow anyone to take a look at your insides and programming if you don't see those stickers taped to the machines. That's very important to guarantee a clean procedure and to keep you safe and healthy. Humans wouldn't trust a doctor operating from his backyard, either. You got that?"

He looked at both of them, and prompted to react, Jongdae nodded quickly. It made sense. No shabby basement tinkering on such a complex, fragile creature.

Yifan seemed content with them just accepting the information. He shifted in his seat and reached for a compact-looking instrument.

"Good. Now let me explain to you what I'm going to do. I'll connect this device to you, and connect you to this machine here, simply for data transfer."

Kyungsoo nodded again, looking a little wary, but ultimately compliant. "I'll warn you ahead of time if I think you'll feel anything, so as not to alarm you. First, we have to connect you."

Kyungsoo naturally lifted his shirt over his head, and Jongdae feared another social misstep coming on, but Yifan wasn't perturbed and simply offered him to place the shirt on a nearby stool.

That's right, he had seen a movie before where an android needed to be...plugged in. Was the term plugged in offensive? That android had his docking point around the neck, though, and he hadn't seen anything like it on Kyungsoo.

"Where is your access point for technical support, do you know that?"

Yifan's questions were precise, leaving no room for hilarious misunderstandings. Jongdae was impressed.

Kyungsoo thought about it for a while, then pointed to his right side.

 "Sounds about right. That's a very common area."

Jongdae would have liked to question the validity of android information he'd gotten from the movies, but he was currently too spooked to do so – because Kyungsoo had lifted his arm and Yifan fiddled around with something he couldn't see,  only to roll away a bit of Kyungsoo's skin. Below, there was a blank, clean-looking hatch, and yes, this was low-key terrifying to Jongdae.

Kyungsoo didn't seem scared at all, just mildly interested. The hatch was opened, revealing three connection points, and then Yifan was holding up a little cube-like thing for Kyungsoo to see.

"I'll plug this into the main port. It will feel foreign, but not harmful."

"Okay."

Jongdae craned his neck to see, but there was nothing spectacular going on. The device was plugged in, the little device in Yifan's hands lit up, and after a few seconds of the analyst staring at incoming numbers, he declared it was safe to connect him to the bigger machine, as well.

"This will be tiring, but I don't think it will last long. Please don't reject the device, if you can."

If he was human, maybe Kyungsoo's eyes would glaze over now, or he'd grow weak. Jongdae had seen Kyungsoo in his exhausted states, however, and wasn't surprised to see him becoming very still, conserving energy and finally closing his eyes, to blank out the immense, perpetual input he was exposed to. The machine purred very silently, steadily, and numbers kept flooding the screen. Yifan sat very still, but when he spoke, it was aimed at Jongdae.

"Where did you find him?"

"Uh. A night club," Jongdae admitted. "We, uh, we think he was abandoned shortly after he was booted. He's _kinda_ unworldly."

Yifan hummed.

"You do know that it's dangerous to associate with seemingly stray androids?"

There it was, the long overdue scolding.

"Yes, I do."

"Finding a true stray like this one seems to be, is extremely rare. Most of them have a history, just like humans. Only that their history can be kept from them. They could one day snap, and steal or murder, just like programmed, and no one would see it coming, neither you nor the android themself."

"So you're saying that we should just let stray androids rot on the streets?" Jongdae asked, a little unhappy with the inhuman treatment, even though that was kind of expected. Yifan looked at him, and there was kindness in his eyes.

"Most of these androids would not even mind. But you're right of course, when you think that they deserve better. Just like a human, an android is inherently innocent at first. You cannot blame them for what was brought upon them, but unlike us, they can rarely actively seek anyone out. Still, you mustn't forget that we shouldn't feel entitled to force us on them. As long as they pose no active threat, we have no right to tinker with unclaimed androids. And even when they have a human guardian, it depends."

"That's really complicated..." Jongdae trailed off, and Yifan nodded.

"It is. It's not something average people even know about."

"Then what was I supposed to do?"

Yifan made another thoughtful hum.

"Usually, if you see an android you suspect in need of help, you contact the police, and they'll take a look."

"And then he gets stuffed in some orphanage for androids," Jongdae stated rather than asked.

"That would be nicer than facility work, but yeah. It's not easy for a stray. Lucky for him that it was you who found him, right?"

Judging by the other's soft expression, Jongdae suspected the analyst to be a bleeding heart, under all that tough-looking exterior. Maybe he and Jongin suited each other well, after all.

"I'm done," Kyungsoo said, and they both turned to him.

"Great. You feel alright?" Yifan asked, and his whole demeanour seemed to have molten from perfectly professional to very casual in just a few minutes.

"Yes. It _was_ really weird."

While Yifan scrolled the numbers and statistics, pulling things across his screen, Kyungsoo sought out Jongdae immediately, who shot him an encouraging smile.

Kyungsoo smiled back. It was really rare, to see him actually smiling. It made Jongdae's heart twitch.

"Okay. So far, everything looks good. I'll only need a few minutes," the analyst distractedly announced, and Jongdae was quite frankly happy they didn't have to return another day. They spent the waiting time in silence, careful not to disturb the analyst reading out the data.

Kyungsoo stared at the numbers, which Jongdae had all-too soon given up on (they made just about as much sense to him as letters in a soup did), and so he passed the time looking at nothing in particular, musing about what it must be like, to be a stray android.

They knew Yifan was done when he casually sank into a chair, facing them.

"Okay. This is a rough analysis now, just an overview," he announced, body turned towards the screen as he pointed at the overall collection of colorful charts. Jongdae sat up a little straighter, bracing himself for whatever was awaiting him.

"Overall, everything looks fine. There's one big issue though."

They both stared at him in new-found nervousness. Yifan gestured at a line that was entirely too small for Jongdae to read.

"He has no inbuilt restrictions. No basic laws or moral, just nothing."

"Do I need them?" Kyungsoo asked. Yifan didn't seem annoyed by the question (which was probably better than the 'And that is bad why?' that had been resting on Jongdae's tongue).

"Have you ever heard the story of the android and the paper clips?"

They hadn't. Yifan wasn't surprised.

"It's an easy little tale to demonstrate the importance of basic restrictions," he began, leaning against the backrest of his chair. "Imagine an android with no personality or character, a blank sheet awaiting an instruction. And you tell this android that for some reason, you need it to produce paper clips."

"Paper clips," Jongdae echoed.

"Yes. Just paper clips. As many as possible, by all means possible. What do you think would happen?"

"He'd... build a ridiculously large factory dedicated to paper clips?" Jongdae asked, and Yifan nodded.

"And then?"

And then?

Jongdae looked at Kyungsoo, whose gears were obviously ticking.

"He'd build a lot of factories?" he tried, and Yifan bit back a smile.

"Yes. But why stop there? When to stop? The android would soon realize that humans could create more paper clips for it, and in order to maximize the results, it will force them to do so. Humans, machines, maybe even other androids. It wouldn't stop until the whole world was simply dedicated to making paper clips. People would live in poverty, since they'd make paper clips instead of caring for general needs. And if the android managed to branch out into the universe, it would."

"That's ridiculous," Kyungsoo stated, and Yifan shot him an interested look.

"Why would you think that?"

"Because if all humans are enslaved and all forests burnt down, there will be no more paper and no more use of paper clips."

"The android wasn't told what to produce them for, and simply to produce them. It doesn't care whether they are used or not."

Kyungsoo scrunched his brows together and looked overall skeptical.

"Still," he began.

"Still?"

"It doesn't seem... right."

It felt like Yifan was coaxing something big out of Kyungsoo, and while Jongdae had no idea what was going on, he paid close attention.

"Do you think the android is at fault?"

"What? No. It simply did what it was told to. The instruction was simply stupid," Kyungsoo said almost petulantly, defending an inexisting android with an obsession for paper clips.

"That's right," Yifan agreed easily. "There were no restrictions or limitations. It had no sense of moral or ethics, as per human understanding. That's why every artificial intelligence needs to be provided with a thorough, moral code. Think of it as an extended version of the three robotic's laws."

"But what makes me different from that android? If I have no sense of moral or ethics, I should share its sentiments, right?"

Yifan seemed happy about the question, pointing at Kyungsoo as he nodded.

"Yeah. You should, that's right. But you are more than a blank sheet, you're a more modern model working on basic logic. You may have neither restrictions nor a key motivation given to you, but you spent a lot of time around humans, and learnt their customs and ethics by observation."

"Sometimes more and sometimes less successful," Jongdae mumbled, and the analyst shook his head.

"They may be rough around the edges, but the core construct is there. Again, you're both very lucky. It could have developed in a very different way altogether. I do see that your values are very sex-oriented. In fact, I first assumed you were an android made for prostitution."

Jongdae was way more shocked than Kyungsoo, who only tilted his head in question.

"Is that bad?"

"No," Yifan freely said (while Jongdae begged to differ), "but you're not. They really didn't feed you with anything to work with, so you made it along as you went and adapted to your environment. I'm sure you'll have no trouble adapting to other areas as well, though you might want to give it some time. You're medium-built in terms of materials and intelligence."

"So I'm not smart?" Kyungsoo asked, and for the first time, there was something akin to disappointment in the way he said it.

"You're not dumb. You're not a supercomputer, either. But I wouldn't be too concerned about that," Yifan added in a pacifying tone, "medium-builts get along with humans much better than the upper class. Or rather, humans get along better with medium-builts. Their limitations make them more accessible, while these type of androids feel less estranged by humans."

"Oh. Okay. Sounds reasonable."

Jongdae nodded, as if his head wasn't buzzing with all the new information. Yifan patted his own thighs before getting to his feet.

"I'll still provide you with the basic restrictions I told you about," he announced. "It's sort of my duty, since it's illegal to be without them. But there's really nothing to worry about - I doubt you will feel much of a difference."

"Okay," Kyungsoo easily offered, and then he looked at Jongdae as if confirming whether his choice was acceptable. Which was silly, of course, since this was about him, and demanding Kyungsoo to stay without the set of rules that made him more of a legal android would be nothing but selfish and stupid. Still, Kyungsoo valued his opinion, and that was flattering.

 

* * *

 

 

Jongdae left the office not too long after, with a handful of brochures stuffed into his bag and a groggy android holding his hand.

"I'm tired," he remarked unnecessarily.

"I know," Jongdae replied.

"We'll go straight home so you can get some rest."

Yifan had told them that while the restrictions shouldn't be noticeable in his behaviour, adapting to them might take a few hours and be very consuming.

Indeed Kyungsoo was still very quiet when they entered the apartment, and Jongdae ushered him off to lay down and not worry about anything at all. He tried to do somewhat the same, but worries on how to have Kyungsoo legally registered without any repercussions were still gnawing at him. Yifan had given him a few informative brochures and scribbled the names of some internet addresses on them, which Jongdae was very grateful for. He'd have to check them out as soon as possible. Maybe later, in bed.

He had to give up on that plan when he padded to his room, a wet towel around his neck, only to find Kyungsoo sitting with his back leaned against Jongdae's door, blocking the way.

"Are you okay? Are you feeling strange, after all?" Jongdae immediately asked, and before he could get to his knees, the android looked up.

"I'm just tired. Can I sleep with you?"

"Huh?" Jongdae asked, clearly taken aback.

"Can I sleep with you?" Kyungsoo repeated, even mirroring the intonation. He really was a little out of it.

"Of course," Jongdae hurried to reply. "Just sleeping though."

"Just sleeping," Kyungsoo repeated, and this kind of behaviour really did worry Jongdae, who quickly got ready for bed, and then stripped Kyungsoo out of his clothes to put a pajama on him. They slipped under the covers, and while Jongdae couldn't remember the last time he had been in bed with another person, this really wasn't the time for silly thoughts. Without hesitation, he drew him in for a hug, even though he wasn't sure whether Kyungsoo would appreciate the gesture. It was a strange, foreign feeling - not only to lie next to someone, but also the way Kyungsoo felt in his arms. He was very solid and hard, but also warm. Hopefully not too warm.

"This is nice," Kyungsoo said quietly into the darkness.

"Yeah? That's good to hear," Jongdae replied softly, unconsciously nosing around Kyungsoo's hair. It smelled like his own shampoo.

"I know you can't save me from most of potential threats," Kyungsoo stated, and Jongdae huffed out a small laugh. "But you can save me from a few of them, and that makes me feel safe. Thank you."

Ignoring his pounding heart, Jongdae hugged him a little tighter and pressed a kiss to his hair.

He didn't bother replying, seeing as Kyungsoo had gone to sleep only seconds after.


	5. Chapter 5

 

_So if I can't be the perfect rocket, maybe I'm a bird._

_A bird can fly, just like a rocket, but no one tells a bird where to fly. It can decide on its own._

_When it's hungry, it gets food, when it's lonely, it gets a friend._

_It can care for its babies and other birds, too._

_A rocket can't care for other rockets, but a bird can._

_I like being a bird._

 

* * *

 

Jongdae had dreamt something last night. It was already slipping from him, something about a visit at the doctors, with cables and machines and Kyungsoo holding his hand. It had only been mildly unsettling, that much he knew. Still, he wasn't sad to see that dream frizzle out into nothingness.

"Jongdae?"

Right, there was someone across him. Warm and heavy.

Bit by bit did reality trickle in.

He hummed belatedly, wondering when he'd ever be allowed to sleep in. His arm was still wrapped around another body, and the feeling was still new, still fresh. Unusual, but not unpleasant.

"Can I kiss you?"

Jongdae huffed and tried to open his eyes, only to find Kyungsoo's face very close to his. _Very_ close. He flinched back a little, hitting his head on the wall, crusty eyes closed again.

"Kyungsoo, _no_ ," he whined, feigning exasperation to drown out his quickly beating heart. He wanted to quickly rub his eyes so he'd be a step closer to actually being awake, when Kyungsoo wriggled closer in his grasp.

"Why not?"

Jongdae felt how close he was. Kyungsoo's body was warm under his fingers, but his head obviously wasn't, and yet he felt him being only a finger's width away. The voice was close, sounding even lower when quiet, the airflow was blocked by him, and Jongdae's lashes grazed skin. He willed himself to relax.

He'd occasionally made out with people, sure, but he had most certainly not been in a situation like this in a long time. Still, he wouldn't allow that to throw him off.

"Because it's weird," he said, and it came out a tad weaker than intended. Just a tad.

"Why?" came the prompt reply. Pinned between the wall and Kyungsoo, Jongdae had to take a deep breath. To keep his thoughts together.

"Because kissing is for lovers."

When Kyungsoo didn't reply immediately, Jongdae added, "people who love each other, kiss each other."

"Doesn't love come after the kissing?" Kyungsoo asked, and he had backed off just the tiniest bit.

"Not usually, no."

"Then do you already love me?"

Jongdae changed approaches from gently pushing Kyungsoo off to drawing him close again. He felt the other bury his face in Jongdae's neck, proving that he indeed didn't need oxygen.

"Of course I like you," he began, feeling like a loser for chickening out on using the other four-lettered word. "I care for you. A lot. But not in the sense that I want to kiss you or have sex with you."

"But..."

Jongdae finally managed to get his own space back when Kyungsoo drew away. Predictably, he opened his eyes to a very confused-looking android. Jongdae hummed in question, but Kyungsoo shook his head.

"Nothing. I have to think about this."

Jongdae sleepily ruffled his hair.

"You do that. And now let me sleep a little longer," he yawned, snuggling back into bed, his arm still loosely draped around Kyungsoo's waist.

"Your alarm goes off in ten minutes."

"Good."

Kyungsoo didn't make a move to leave, and Jongdae was getting the hang of dozing off with a very much awake person potentially watching him.

 

* * *

 

 "So, how did the visit to the analyst go?" Jongin asked as he placed his packed fruit juice on the table in the deserted break room. Jongdae dropped into a chair without any grace at all.

"Good, actually. But you knew that already, didn't you?"

Jongin wore a perfectly innocent expression.

"Huh? Why?"

Jongdae narrowed his eyes at him.

"You two seem like you talk on a regular basis."

Jongin's eyes widened a bit.

"Really? Why? Did Yifan say something?"

It was adorable, how shyly excited he looked about the prospect of Yifan talking about him. Young love. Disgusting, Jongdae thought with a smile and fueled by nothing but happy envy.

"Nah, he didn't. I just noticed your couple item game going on," he waved Jongin off, unwilling to tease the other any longer. With a small 'oh,' Jongin poked the straw inside the package as if it took all of his focus.

"Anyway, the visit went well! Apparently, Kyungsoo is all healthy and surprisingly well-developed, considering the circumstances," Jongdae explained, easily changing the topic.

When it came to Kyungsoo, he mostly talked to Jongin about him. It was a little funny, how the stray android had brought them together. Initially, Jongdae had seen him as a mere co-worker to exchange a little small talk with, but over the past few weeks, they had often talked about Kyungsoo, and then about other topics. Their friendship was growing, just like the friendship between Jongin and Kyungsoo did. They actually talked a lot, and Jongdae used to feel a prick of petty jealousy (which was natural. Humans felt these basic instincts all the time, no shame in that. He hadn't been planning to act on them); whenever Jongin got off work before Jongdae, he'd make it a point to sit down with Kyungsoo and talk about books. Jongdae would have loved to be part of that, but he had no idea when he'd even find the time to read all those books. He was pretty sure Kyungsoo read them at night, when Jongdae went to sleep.

"He seems pretty eager on learning things, yeah," Jongin commented, and Jongdae nodded as he opened the yogurt he had brought.

"His sources are kinda concerning though - I should keep a closer eye on that."

"Why? His books are mostly harmless teenage flicks and encyclopedias. Give him some time," Jongin argued, and Jongdae sighed.

"It's not the books that are worrying me," he replied, looking at nothing in particular. "It's the drama series."

"Huh?" Jongin asked, and Jongdae faced him with new-found exasperation.

"Ever since he learnt how to use the TV screen, he's been doing nothing but binge-watching drama series! And, like, that's great and all, but I feel like the worldview they provide is pretty limited."

Jongin made a gesture clearly telling him to cut Kyungsoo some slack, but Jongdae shook his head.

"Today, at breakfast, he told me that basic morals and ethics are nothing new, but that he doesn't get the concept of consent, because in the series, people always seem to _like_ getting harrassed."

Jongin grimaced.

"I mean..."

"Yesterday, he asked me if french-kissing could get you sick, because people avoid it like the plague on TV."

Jongin choked on his croissant.

"He also can't understand why anyone would be considerate, when being an arrogant alpha male would be the way to getting everything in life."

"Did he say it like that?" Jongin asked, still coughing into his palm.

"Believe me, I'd like to know who taught him those words myself," Jongdae mumbled. For a moment, it was silent.

"Isn't it funny?" Jongin began, his tone much more somber. "There are a ton of pleasure androids who don't even mind their function a little, and then there's someone like Kyungsoo."

"Who would have probably not minded either," Jongdae spoke out loud what might be ugly, but the truth.

"Yes, but he could be more, and he wants to be more and he's trying to understand the world," Jongin argued, and there really was no 'arguing' because he was true.

"Most androids are sentient, and yet some seem... more sentient than others. It's confusing."

"It really is," Jongdae agreed. Regarding Kyungsoo he simply thought of him as a human made of metals, but that wasn't completely right, either. He knew that.

"I think no one's more confused than Kyungsoo himself. Did you read that book about the little android girl?" Jongdae asked, receiving a negating hum in turn.

"Kyungsoo mentioned that book, but I have yet to read it. All of our copies are currently borrowed. One of them by you," Jongin added with a teasing grin, and Jongdae rolled his eyes.

"I'm almost done, okay?"

"What, you're actually reading it?"

"Your surprised reaction feels kind of insulting," Jongdae deadpanned. "But yes, I'm on it. I usually read bits of it before I go to sleep. It doesn't seem to be a book you should read in one go."

Jongin chuckled around his tiny straw.

"For someone who doesn't read, you have a lot of respect for books. Maybe you're suited for your job, after all."

Jongdae flicked a candy wrapper at him.

"What a brat you are. You're probably a terrible influence yourself. Soo is already sassy enough without you."

Jongin laughed, flung the candy wrapper right back at him, and Jongdae would have loved to relax a little longer, like this. Maybe he should invite Jongin over one day.

 

* * *

 

 

 

So far, they had avoided the most popular town districts, but today, Jongdae deemed Kyungsoo ready to deal with the amount of people hanging around the Northern square on a Friday evening. It was the district popular with artists and young people in general, always bustling with life and nice street food. It must be the first time for Kyungsoo to see so many people after that festival they had visited way back. This time around though, he wasn't clinging to Jongdae's side like a frightened puppy. He wasn't yelling astounded 'woah's and 'wow's either, but Jongdae could tell that he was alert, in a positive way. His head kept whipping around, unsure what to pay attention to first. When someone bumped into Jongdae, Kyungsoo was quick to grasp his hand.

"I don't want to lose you," was the explanation he served along with it, and Jongdae allowed it, squeezed his hand a little and then acted as if that was something he usually did - holding hands with his friends.

It seemed as if Kyungsoo's recent obsession was dedicated to clothes. He went from favouring tacky club wear to school uniforms, and now he seemed torn, stopping in front of store windows to scrutinize the outfits.

"You would prefer the scarf the most, right?" he asked, and Jongdae hummed. It didn't look overly warm, but made up for it in length, touching the floor on both sides of the mannequin. For some reason, Kyungsoo wasn't all that elated at guessing correctly.

"But why?"

"I don't know. No special reason?"

Kyungsoo shook his head.

"Clothes say something about a person. Certain styles reveal something about a person's history or character. But what? I can't seem to find the pattern in that."

"Well," Jongdae began, swinging their linked hands back and forth a little, "you'd have to see a lot of people to get a feel for that, and then fashion also changes rapidly. It's not easy to see the connection."

He looked at the scarf a little longer, trying to determine why exactly he liked it.

"I think it's because it reminds me of a cool character in a video game I played before."

Kyungsoo looked slightly horrified at the prospect that menial reasons like that would also have to be factored in, and Jongdae laughingly tugged him along.

They didn't get too far, because a singer caught Kyungsoo's attention. The crowd around him was rather large, but they found a nearby bench and sat on the backrest. Jongdae could definitely see why Kyungsoo was interested - the singer was gorgeous, looking ethereal as usually only androids would, with a clear, pretty voice and precise dance moves. It was an absolute one-man show, until he invited someone to him, insisted until the pink-haired guy from the first row joined him. He was even better of a dancer, and Kyungsoo was captivated. When Jongdae started to clap along, he got the hint that he was allowed to do so, as well.

The singer sparkled, in every sense of the word, and when he announced that he'd already debuted on stage, Jongdae wasn't surprised. He just had that certain charisma that belonged on a stage.

"He's an android," Kyungsoo whispered, and Jongdae shot him a confused look, before focusing on the performer again, who was currently thanking his audience for the great evening.

"Are you sure? I wouldn't have guessed that..." Jongdae trailed off, and maybe he'd see it if they got closer. Kyungsoo was one step ahead, and when the crowd slowly dissipated, he hopped off the bench.

"Can I speak to him?" he asked Jongdae, who shrugged.

"Sure. But respect his wishes if he doesn't want to talk. Remember-"

" _No is no_ ," Kyungsoo echoed, and already stretched his hand out, waiting for Jongdae to take it. It was equal parts funny and embarrassing, but Jongdae couldn't deny him. Not to mention that he was also a little curious about the performer now.

He and his friend with the pink hair were packing up, but Kyungsoo didn't let that stop him.

"Hello."

The perfectly friendly expression stumbled a little as the artist got a look at Kyungsoo. Not that he looked unhappy to see him or anything. Just surprised.

"Hello to you, too. Thanks for watching my performance.

"Can I ask you a question?"

He didn't seem to mind the blunt nature of Kyungsoo, either.

"Sure."

Kyungsoo looked up at the much taller guy with an almost blank expression, but curiosity audibly lacing his deep voice.

"Why do you want to become famous?"

It was an odd question, one that Jongdae would only expect a talent scout to ask, and yet the performer didn't seem fazed.

"Because it feels like the most useful thing to do, to me. Aside from high science, maybe, but they got plenty of androids for that already, and I'm not smart enough."

"How is it useful?" Kyungsoo further asked, and Jongdae stepped beside him, shyly rubbing his neck.

"Only if you don't mind replying. He's rather young, sorry."

The performer smiled, and his eyes really were shining unnaturally. No one was that pretty. Had Kyungsoo been right about him not being human?

"I can hear that," he stated, leaning towards Kyungsoo to get a closer look. "But you don't look young. You move really well."

"Stop hitting on him, Lu."

The voice of his friend was soft and yet it felt like a sharp object wrapped in cotton. Jongdae had no idea how he came to that conclusion. The artist only laughed.

"Aww, are you jealous? He's really pretty, in an unusual way. I can't blame you."

"Being jealous would be waste of time and energy, and also I'd rather not encourage you," his friend replied without skipping a beat.

"Boring as ever."

"Say, are you per chance an android?" Jongdae asked clumsily. "This is really awkward to ask, but since my friend here suspected that, I-"

"Yepp," the artist replied easily. "We both are."

"Huh?" Jongdae asked unintelligently, and then the friend stepped forward to shake Jongdae's hand.

"Kim Minseok, robotics developer, nice to meet you."

He shook Kyungsoo's hand next, who responded overly properly. "And this is Luhan, as you might have heard already."

Both of them were stunned silent (though Kyungsoo probably just deemed it wise not to say anything dumb now and prove how lacking of an android he still thought himself to be).

At their dumb expressions, Luhan laughed.

"Wanna go for a cup of tea? Metaphorically speaking. I don't really enjoy tea to be honest," he said, and whether it was a joke or not, Kyungsoo was eagerly nodding before Jongdae had a chance to react.

"Yes, please."

"Your treat," Luhan added. When Kyungsoo immediately looked towards Jongdae (who was asking himself what an android would want to be treated to in the first place), Luhan snorted - a very peculiar sound for an android to make.

"I was joking. Let me pack up real quick."

 

* * *

 

 

 "That's a pretty crazy story. I guess you got lucky, eh? A true blessing in disguise."

Instead of a reply, Kyungsoo only hummed. Jongdae, the only one out of the three who had actually gotten himself a drink, took a deep gulp of his soda can. They had found a large bench in a park, not too far from the station and nicely lit.

He was pretty certain that Kyungsoo did not know what a _blessing in disguise_ really meant, but it seemed like he didn't want to embarrass himself in front of the two. Jongdae certainly wasn't going to call him out on that.

"We also just got lucky," Minseok easily admitted. "We were claimed by very rich people who quickly declared us independent."

"Were you adopted together?" Kyungsoo asked right away - an odd point of focus for an android, and just what he'd expect from Kyungsoo.

"No," Luhan answered, waving him off quickly. "We just met per chance."

"And now you're-" Kyungsoo began, but cut himself off. A beat later, he tried, "Lovers. Or friends. I'm not sure."

They didn't laugh at him this time, and Jongdae watched the three androids as attentively as he could, trying to get a feeling for their culture, accommodate to it. Now he was the outsider for once, and he could clearly see how simply reading the atmosphere could consume most of a person's attention.

"Something like that, yeah," Luhan said. "We're not really the type to differentiate, to be honest. We're loyal to each other and keep each other company. Sometimes, it's nice to get a whiff of another life, so as not to get rusty. Figuratively speaking. Minseok would probably go crazy if he spent his entire life at work."

"You don't know that," Minseok protested, but it was a soft protest. They reminded Jongdae of a long-married couple, and once again, he imagined what it was like, to be an android.

"Love and friendship are the same to you?" Kyungsoo asked, clearly reserved.

"To us, yeah," Luhan agreed. "Humans are really weird and complicated with their labels and stubbornness and insecurities and unnecessary drama, aren't they? It could be so easy if they got their shit together."

"Then they'd be called androids," Minseok dryly remarked.

Jongdae snorted and they all looked at him.

"What? I found that funny," Jongdae defended himself, and Luhan sighed.

"Good. For us, I mean. Sorry, we didn't mean to talk down on you."

Jongdae, who didn't really see the issue at hand, shrugged.

"I mean, what? It's objectively true. I don't think there's anything overly meaningful that humans can do better than androids."

"See? He's on the right track," Minseok commented, but raised his hands in defense at the stare Luhan gave him.

"Then why do you want to be famous to humans, if you think they're stupid?" Kyungsoo asked, picking up on the question that had initially driven them to this bench.

"I'm not saying they're stupid," Luhan began, ignoring the quiet "I am," by Minseok. "It's not their fault. Humans aren't inherently bad, either, and by being a role model that brings them joy and maybe changes only a few people for the better, I'd have contributed well to society. That's my key motivation."

Kyungsoo nodded, but of course that wasn't the end of his questions.

"My doctor also mentioned a key. It seems to be a driving force, is that right?"

"Correct. The meaning of your life, so to say. The purpose, the goal you're going for. Without it, we'd simply exist, until we stop existing," Luhan elaborated, and Kyungsoo hummed.

"Okay. How do I get one? Where do I get one?"

Minseok actually smiled at this, the first sincere smile Jongdae had seen on him that evening.

"You are adorable. Makes me want to protect you."

Kyungsoo shot him a questioning look, and then looked at Jongdae, as if Jongdae was some sort of highly capable wizard when it came to social aspects of life.

"You can have someone give you a key, if that's what you want. The government always takes a helping hand if it's offered," Luhan hummed, leaning back against the bench to look up into the sky. "But that would be no fun, would it? You're given the privilege of a choice, so why give up on that?"

"What if my key is a bad one?"

Luhan opened his mouth when they were suddenly blinded by a flashlight.

"Good evening, random control, do not be alarmed."

Jongdae froze. Two policemen were patrolling the park. Controlling them. Would they check for ID's?

"Good evening," Minseok calmly replied, while Luhan remained bubbly.

"We're just hanging out here. No drugs, no trouble!"

"Sure, we were just checking," one of the officers said, and Jongdae deflated a bit.

"Could we see your ID's? It's really just protocol."

Nope, back to feeling icy cold.

Shit. What now?

"Sure," Minseok said, holding out the inside of his wrist. The policemen obviously expected him to be human, but didn't comment on it and used her device to scan his wrist. Luhan followed next, with a friendly "There you go," leisurely leaning back as he did so.

Jongdae was still panicking. He couldn't think of a single thing to do, and obviously, the other two would just let it happen - because why wouldn't they? They were still strangers.

"What about yours?" the second officer asked, now addressing Kyungsoo.

The android looked at Luhan and Minseok, and then offered his own wrist as well, simply copying what he'd seen. Jongdae actually contemplated taking the blame for all of this _somehow_.

The officer tried to scan his wrist but came up empty.

"Are you... registered elsewhere?" she asked carefully, giving him the benefit of the doubt.

"I don't know," Kyungsoo replied truthfully, sounding quite helpless. Jongdae had already opened his mouth when someone pinched him in the back.

His grimace went unnoticed by the officers growing more and more alarmed.

Luhan sighed dramatically.

"Of course you're not even registered. Officer, we found this lad and his friend earlier - he's been watching my performance and had never encountered an independent android before. Isn't that right?"

"Yes, it is," Kyungsoo replied obediently, trying to make himself a little smaller by shrinking into Jongdae's side. Jongdae pretended like he wasn't ready to shelter him and backed away just a little. Luhan was up to something. But was this flimsy excuse really enough?

"Well, he seemed pretty harmless," Luhan continued, not giving anyone a chance to interfere, "you see, we think he was abandoned and wiped. There's, like, nothing left in him. Completely unworldly with no traces of memory or direction. But-"

He dragged out the last word as if he had a huge surprise coming up. The officers looked doubtful, at best.

"But... luckily for everyone involved, we already found a guardian for him! Isn't that great?"

"Uhm," one of the officers said intelligently, proving she was just as overwhelmed as Jongdae.

Luhan smiled brightly, and then he was patting Jongdae's knee.

"This guy here is willing. He's a clean citizen with a stable income and no debts. Right?"

"Uh. Yeah. No debts," Jongdae echoed, wondering if it was really that easy.

"This seems a little fishy... you don't need to be afraid to say the truth, young man," one of the officers assured him, and oh. They were thinking that the androids pressured Jongdae into adopting a fellow android.

Jongdae held out his own wrist. He didn't have a chip like the others, but the distinct little tattoo gave out just enough information to function as an ID.

"It's true. Please. You can scan me for lies."

The officer gladly did so, would have probably liked to do that all along - but they needed explicit permission for that, if no charges were pressed. The device was pushed against his wrist rather than hovering above it, and Jongdae didn't have to worry about a lie being uncovered.

"I found him when he was lost, and made him follow me around. He did nothing wrong and I'll take full responsibility. I'm standing for him with my name, and I'll do my best to keep him from harm or from harming others."

"Well. That was a passionate pledge," the officer commented, while the other confirmed that yes, he was telling the truth. Jongdae felt only mildly embarrassed. He'd meant all of it.

"Alright, we'll register you. But you're advised to hand in medical records within the course of a week, or we'll be at your doorstep. Got that?"

"Yes," Kyungsoo and Jongdae said in unison, and Luhan was grinning victoriously.

They were scanned again, both of them, while Kyungsoo profusely thanked them.

"You're really kind, and I'm grateful for being allowed to stay. I will never consciously cause any harm or trouble for Jongdae. I'll learn to be a functional citizen. Thank you so much."

One of the officers - the one typing on her device to get the registration done - just sighed, and seemed rather unaffected and skeptical regarding Kyungsoo, while the other smiled warmly.

"We expect you to give your best," she said, in an encouraging tone.

"I will," Kyungsoo promised. The certainty had a weight to it only androids could carry.

 

When the officers were gone, they exchanged contact information, the four of them. That made six people in Kyungsoo's address book.

"There's you, and then there's Jongin, Chanyeol and Sehun, and now Minseok and Luhan," he listed as they both walked the last few meters to Jongdae's apartment. "Admittedly, I haven't communicated much with four of them, but there's still six people in my life."

Jongdae looked over at him and smiled.

"It's up to you whether you want to stay in contact now."

"I do," Kyungsoo immediately said. "Luhan was right. I can learn a lot from having other humans and androids around me."

Jongdae hummed, and then he reached for Kyungsoo's hand again. It was an odd gesture for him, for that very moment, but Kyungsoo didn't question it.

It was just so hard to grasp that he had officially registered Kyungsoo under his name. He really was responsible now, which was not to be underestimated. But on the other hand, Kyungsoo was a legal citizen now. And free.

"You know, Soo," he began, and Kyungsoo looked at him, eager to get more information than just the sound of his voice.

"I don't want you to feel like some sort of pet. You can be like Luhan. Or Minseok. You can live your life the way you want. Don't feel obligated to stay with me. If you feel comfortable, and want to leave-"

"I don't want to leave."

Again, there was this certainty, and Jongdae wasn't sure whether he felt the urge to show Kyungsoo the world with all its options... or whether he felt a little relieved.

If he were human, or an older android, Kyungsoo might have assumed Jongdae was just offering this to get rid of him. But Kyungsoo couldn't interpret conversations like that yet.

Or maybe he just believed him

"I looked into myself to find my key motivation, after the analyst mentioned it," Kyungsoo began, looking ahead now, to avoid tumbling. "And I found that my purpose, the thing I strive for most, is to find a place to fit in. I used to think being taken home and finding a place of your own would be the biggest reward in life, and then you did take me home, but everything was different. You just gave me a place, but I'm not yet _fitting_. I want to work on that. Maybe that's shallow and selfish but that's what I'm striving for most."

Jongdae took some time to answer, allowing the words to sink in.

"I don't think it's selfish," he finally said. Kyungsoo shot him a look, this disbelieving look that he had never seen so perfected on an android, but Jongdae shook his head.

"No, I mean it. How would you aim for anything higher if you don't feel comfortable and like a stranger in this world? Getting comfortable first is totally fine. And if you're just content by the time you settled, then there's no need for serving a higher purpose either."

Kyungsoo smiled at that, a small, odd smile that Jongdae couldn't quite interpret. The entrance of the apartment building came in sight as they rounded a last corner.

"It's funny how acceptable that concept seems to me. The idea of simply not serving a higher purpose. It doesn't really make sense. Maybe it's because I grew up around humans."

"Ah, that sounds a little sad and somber," Jongdae lightly said, typing his code in so they could enter. "You'll figure things out, I'm sure about that. And while I might still be kind of clueless - really clueless to be honest - I'm willing to help."

"Don't say that. It's not true."

Jongdae just smiled and waited until they had stepped inside their apartment and the door was closed.

"It's true. I'll have to read up on androids just how you're doing it for humans."

He toed off his shoes, but Kyungsoo just stood there, blocking the way and looking at him earnestly.

"You said you're willing to help, but you are helping already. You put in the effort to show me that there is more to the world than what I saw. And you took me inside your home, for no reason other than kindness. That's the most help anyone has ever provided me with. Its value is so high that I cannot find words to express it."

"You're making me blush here," Jongdae replied with a small smile, feeling enough affection to cancel out his embarrassment. Kyungsoo lightly shook his head, and then stared at the ground and back up at Jongdae. There was no exaggerated smile or display of awe, just blank indecisiveness. He took a step towards Jongdae, and Jongdae _could_ take a step back, but that would back him up against the door. Besides, he wasn't scared.

"I just don't know how to thank you," Kyungsoo said quietly, searching his eyes, his face, for a reaction. "You don't value sexual displays of gratitude, and I searched above and beyond, but couldn't find anything that would be strong enough to express my gratitude."

He touched Jongdae's upper arms, cautiously, giving Jongdae time to voice out protest. Then he leaned in, and they really were about the same height. It came easy to him. Kyungsoo was also very pretty up close, the balance between delicate and strong so perfect that Jongdae couldn't decide between handsome and pretty.

Their lips almost touched, with just a hair's width separating them, when Jongdae drew away.

"What are you doing?" he whispered, his heart pounding so hard it hurt. "You just mentioned how I'm not one for sexual favours, didn't you?"

Again, Kyungsoo drew back just a little, a deja-vu from this morning and yet everything was different. His wide, clear eyes were perfectly focused on him.

"You said kissing is for lovers. As far as I learnt it, love is the biggest, most valuable reward for humans. I can love you."

Jongdae actually stammered at that - not verbally, but he felt like he had just tripped over something, even though he hadn't moved at all.

"That's. That's not how it works," he finally said, gently pushing Kyungsoo away by his arms, holding on to him. He needed a little space, but he didn't want to full on reject the earnest boy before him.

"Love is so valuable to people because it comes and goes. We can't demand to love or be loved. And I'm not demanding anything from you in return. The fact that you feel grateful is already a reward, but none that you owed me."

Kyungsoo furrowed his brows just a little, indicating confusion, and Jongdae gave up, and pulled him into a hug.

"What I'm saying is we're good. No one owes anything to anyone, and we're just good. I'm sorry I'm no good with words sometimes. Sorry if I'm confusing you."

"I'm always confused," Kyungsoo easily. "Logic says it's more likely on me than the rest of the world."

Jongdae huffed out a laugh, and they were good.

 

"You know, you can hug me back without it being sexual. If you want to. Would save me some awkwardness," he joked, and Kyungsoo was ridiculously quick to comply.

Yes, they were good. Not routinely so, by no means, but they'd get there.

 


	6. Chapter 6

 

_I still want to be a bird._

_But why is it that whenever I try to make friends, it's so difficult?_

_Every bird is different, but it seems that I'm just a little too different._

_When they sing, I don't understand them well._

_When I sing to them, they don't understand me either._

_It seems like I cannot be a bird, after all._

_But then what am I?_

 

 

* * *

 

"What's your favourite color?"

Jongdae stared at another puzzle piece. It was blue. Just blue. They shouldn't have picked a motive showing mostly the sky.

"Hm... pink? I really like pink," he replied, placing the blue piece on the table, in midst of the other blue pieces he had already sorted by the palest hues of yellow, violet and grey.

"Okay. And your favourite food?"

"Hm... man, I like a lot of different foods. If I had to choose, I'd go for hot pot, cause you can put so many different things in there."

"Okay. Did you ever have a pet?

Jongdae looked up from the scattered puzzle pieces.

"What's this, you're trying to get answers to my password security questions?"

Kyungsoo tilted his head, the puzzle piece in his hand temporarily forgotten.

"Why?"

"I mean. Those are pretty random questions and they kind of feel like a cross-examination."

"I'm just trying to get to know you better," Kyungsoo enunciated, as if it was really obvious.

"By asking trivia questions?" Jongdae asked doubtfully, and Kyungsoo averted his gaze, nodding a little to himself.

"You're right, it doesn't feel very productive."

He placed the puzzle piece into his designated place - right in the middle of the frame Jongdae had already put together, with no pieces fitting to it yet. Then he reached for the next piece, completely unfazed under Jongdae's suspicious gaze.

"You're not thinking about the lovey dovey stuff from your books anymore, do you?"

Kyungsoo shot him a glance, and then looked back at the single piece in his hand.

"No. I mean yes, of course I'm still thinking about it, but right now, I really just attempted to get to know you better. On TV, people always ask about favourite colors, but now that I did, I feel like that didn't give me a lot of information, after all. Or the one about pets. I don't know anything about pets, or whether they say anything about a person."

"Maybe it's time you step up your book game," Jongdae said slowly, and then watched Kyungsoo place the blue piece right into the middle of nowhere. Great, he'd have to work around that somehow.

"But if I asked you what influenced you to strive for wit and jokes, but are unwilling to leave behind basic kindness at the same time, you would probably not be able to answer that," Kyungsoo added, and Jongdae blinked.

"Or whether you think you are perfectly balanced in your mental health and if not, where you think you have to take special caution. Or where you see yourself on the mastering alchemy chart on femininity and masculinity and what you think of the chart in the first place-"

"Hold on, I'm still stuck at the first one," Jongdae cut him off, staring at the table as he tried to sum up the meaning of Kyungsoo's words. "You're saying I'm trying to be a funny person but don't have balls? Courage, I mean."

Kyungsoo was over taking everything literally, but Jongdae was not yet over keeping his language ridiculously clean.

"That's not what I said. I said that you enjoy being a funny person but at the same time stay very civil and friendly in your attitude."

When Jongdae didn't reply directly, Kyungsoo took as him still not understanding.

"You don't make mean jokes," he said, definitely judging him a little over not being able to follow.

"I'm _thinking_ ," Jongdae defended himself, and pushed another true blue puzzle piece into Kyungsoo's hand to have him deal with it.

Kyungsoo let him think, and it took him at least five seconds longer to find the future location of the piece. Next time, they should go for 5.000 pieces.

"You know, I think what you're talking about is just basic ettiquette, which is largely forgotten nowadays," Jongdae finally said, taking a sip of his tea. "People get a little out of touch with all the impersonal communication they do nowadays. Like, they only talk via chat message and stuff. I think if you go out and interact with people more often, it's pretty obvious what hurts people and what doesn't. And why would you intentionally hurt someone?"

"Oh. I didn't think about that. That makes a lot of sense!"

Kyungsoo seemed invested now that he was apparently on to something.

"That's why I enjoy communicating with you. If I read things online or listen to people talk on TV, it's usually very descriptive and wordy, but overall more android-like. Which is fine, it's easiest to understand that way. But with you, there's a lot of body language and speech melody that all come together in a pleasing way."

"I mean. I'm not that special," Jongdae began, but Kyungsoo wasn't deterred.

"The only other person where I noticed that type of speech would be... the analyst. Though he didn't really talk much."

Jongdae wasn't sure whether he was even able to pick up on the nuances Kyungsoo believed to see, but he'd have to take him by his words.

"You know, when I was a kid, my parents were both working with computers already."

Jongdae reached for another puzzle piece, but wasn't really trying to do anything with it, distracted by old memories.

"So did my older sister and even my aunts and uncles. It was all keyboards and things happening on a screen, and I tried to like it - because kids want to appeal to those they look up to, right? But I'm just not the type. My grandmother caught up on that and would always take me out with her. She took me to playgrounds, and later we went on little trips, like the zoo or public baths or forests and parks. I always preferred going out and _doing_ things."

Kyungsoo's patient gaze reminded him of something and he hurried to correct himself.

"Not like there's anything bad about technology and consuming or working with it. Without it, you'd not be here right now. I grew out of resenting technology a long time ago - I can totally enjoy a round of gaming or watching some animated series or something. And I know all these jobs are important."

"You're doing it again," Kyungsoo commented, and Jongdae shot him a questioning look.

"You're apologizing and clearing up potential misunderstandings, but you do it in a quick, simple manner. You're not getting deep into it, fearfully elaborating on every possible aspect to make absolutely sure no one could misunderstand you even if they tried. You simply apologized and said that I wouldn't be here without advanced technology. You're giving a bit of work to me, having me make the connection, and that makes me feel more engaged."

Jongdae was surprised that Kyungsoo could still surprise him. But with every passing day, he seemed to rapidly evolve in terms of mannerism and the level he interpreted things on.

"I... seriously don't know if I can live up to your praise," he laughed awkwardly. "I think you might be biased towards me. I rarely put deep thought into the way I act."

"That's what makes it so pretty."

He always said things like this so straight-faced and earnest that Jongdae wanted to hide his face.

"You're putting me on a podest," he whined. "You do realize I'm just as ordinary and faulty as every other being?"

"Of course," Kyungsoo immediately admitted with a nod. "But those menial things I can help you with."

He then carefully pried a puzzle piece out of Jongdae's hands and put it in the opposite corner of the puzzle instead.

"And soon, I'll hopefully be able to help with more meaningful tasks," he added, already looking for another piece. He'd said it so patiently, calm and reassured, and Jongdae wanted to get distance in between them before he did anything silly.

He'd just have to wait it out, he told himself. Human hearts were fickle, vulnerable, and easy to declare crushes on just about anyone who cared for them. It would pass.

 

* * *

 

Jongdae had been hesitant, at first, when Chanyeol invited him to a party. He wasn't sure whether Kyungsoo was ready for the social engagement coming with attending a party. Chanyeol had only replied that Kyungsoo could need some actual human interaction, that the party would be totally harmless and also reminded Jongdae that he was his own person, that he used to love parties, and that caring for an android didn't mean abstinence of anything human-only.

Jongdae didn't know whether androids went to parties. He could see Luhan or Minseok attending a party, but those two seemed very much out of the norm.

Well, good thing that Kyungsoo was out of the norm as well. He had lit up at the mention of a party and while Jongdae reached for his third cocktail, Kyungsoo was having a blast listening to friends of Chanyeol telling a story.

He didn't seem disappointed at the lack of disco lights, stuffy air and shady people.

But while Chanyeol could be entirely without class, he liked to pretend, once in awhile. This year he had rented a small, but pretty poolsite for his birthday. It was located on the 15th floor of a hotel, and the view over the city was quite pretty.

As it was always the case with Chanyeol, anyone and everyone was invited. if they were a friend of his friend, they were welcome. And Chanyeol had a lot of friends. Jongdae considered himself one of the closer ones, which got him the honour of downing another shot with the birthday boy, laughing heartily at nothing in particular. That was their thing - it may be prompted by some silly grimace or something falling down, but the real reason behind their way-too loud and extended laugh was simply that they were happy. They treasured having fun. And also they might be a little drunk. It really had been a while since Jongdae had had an alcoholic drink, and he couldn't help vaguely reminiscing the day he had stumbled upon Kyungsoo.

At first the android had stuck to his side, but by now he was roaming the party on his own, which filled Jongdae with an odd sense of pride. He could hold his own and engage with people on a level above "the color of your eyes matches my sheets".

(Also Kyungsoo was still using Jongdae's sheets, so technically, he didn't owe any sheets of his own).

Getting Jongdae drunk was no easy or cheap feat, but he was getting there after his second Long Island and the many shots he hadn't bothered counting. He was feeling light and tipsy, just the perfect amount of being drunk. The music was good and he had fun dancing in both exaggeratedly dorky and dirty ways. He really had missed this - letting go, being surrounded by high-spirited people, laughing together. Like this, he managed to not think about Kyungsoo perpetually. He was still seeking him out occasionally, asking whether he was doing fine or simply looking for him to make sure. But he didn't have to constantly worry, and Jongdae hadn't really realized that he'd been doing that until he... didn't do it anymore.

It was all good, great even, until someone called for him over the crowd. Just a loud call of his name, nothing alarming to be read in the voice, and Jongdae curiously pushed past the people in his way, towards the little seating area. People had placed colorful bean bags everywhere, but there were also a few stray chairs close to the table holding snacks and drinks. Chanyeol was currently sitting on one of those chairs, with Kyungsoo sitting on his lap sideways as they were french-kissing.

French-kissing.

"What the hell?" Jongdae exclaimed, a flurry of emotions pulling him forward - shock, anger, worry, shameful arousal, and did he mention anger? What was Chanyeol _thinking_ -

"What are you doing there?" he demanded, a tad too high and obviously freaked out. At this, Chanyeol flinched away from the android. Up this close Jongdae could see that this hadn't been an easy feat with the way Kyungsoo was holding him close with a hand in the back of his neck.

"Ah," Chanyeol began uselessly, his face flushed, while Kyungsoo looked nothing but innocently startled.

"Huh? I'm giving him a birthday gift."

"What," Jongdae stated rather than asked, piercing Chanyeol with an ' _you better explain this_ ' look. Sehun - who must have been the one to call for Jongdae - was actually snickering to himself, and Jongdae was still too distraught to direct his anger at the brat.

"I, I," Chanyeol started uselessly, _licking his lips_ and shaking his head. Jongdae was very close to whacking him over the head.

"I didn't force him - I didn't even ask for it! I just. I swear he just did it-"

"And you kissed him back because...?" Jongdae trailed off, strict and unforgiving.

Kyungsoo was confused, and he was still sitting in Chanyeol's lap, which didn't only trigger the rightful anger in Jongdae, but also unreasonable jealousy.

"I'm so sorry!" Chanyeol blubbered, hiding his red face in his hands, and Jongdae just tugged Kyungsoo off his lap.

"And you, what are you doing?" Jongdae whined, only adding to Kyungsoo's befuddlement.

"Why, what did I do wrong?"

Jongdae decided that there were way too many people watching them, and led Kyungsoo away from them. They walked past a few people who greeted or tried to engaged them in small talk, but Jongdae easily brushed them off. They found a quiet corner, right next to the small pool furthest away from the terrace. The water reflections danced around their legs and bounced off the potted plant standing nearby, but Jongdae's (slightly unfocused gaze) was trained on Kyungsoo alone, holding him in front of him by carefully grabbing his upper arms.

"Kyungsoo, please. No making out with strangers."

"Why are you so upset all of a sudden? Are you drunk?" Kyungsoo asked, and instead of anger, there was nothing but worry in his voice, which only made Jongdae want to whine even more. "Chanyeol isn't a stranger. He's a friend."

"But are you in love with him?"

The other was slightly taken aback by that question.

"Do I have to be? I just wanted to make him feel nice, since I didn't bring a real present."

"I- I told you kissing is for lovers," Jongdae muttered in exasperation. He felt slightly ashamed over how big of a deal this was to him, while Kyungsoo was perfectly calm.

"You did, but I thought parties were an exception," the android replied straight away, and of course he would think that. "People do a lot of sexual stuff at parties, even if they're strangers. People asked _me_ to do that and they didn't know me. So they weren't in love with me."

Jongdae cringed a little at the mental image, and only held Kyungsoo tighter.

"No, but they should have been. I mean, yes, people get horny and stuff. And then they make out, and it seems like a great idea when they're drunk, but then they regret it a lot afterwards-"

"I only regret it because it made you upset," Kyungsoo admitted, and Jongdae felt his heart constrict with conflicting emotions. He made a loud, whiny noise and wriggled a little in place, frustration taking over his drunk body.

"Kyungsoo, you don't get it...!" he complained weakly. "I just don't want people to treat you like you're cheap and available, like some kind of sex droid - Chanyeol wouldn't harm you, but maybe others would! Intimacy means a lot to people, and they get really vulernable over it, so you shouldn't give it out that easily if you don't really know what it means-"

"But it means nothing to me."

Jongdae stopped in his tracks, looking into a very serious expression.

"It means nothing to me, to kiss. Or to suck or to touch. It doesn't hurt me, it's not uncomfortable, and it's neither good nor bad to me. I don't have any sensors or internal progresses that do anything with those actions. So why does it matter?"

"Does it really not matter at all to you?" Jongdae asked, and maybe there was a flicker of drunk hope dancing along the lines. Or rather stumbling. Aimless hope that maybe, being with Kyungsoo in that way would be possible.

"No. It means as much to me as someone asking me to hand them a glass of water."

Jongdae nodded to himself, casting all his personal emotions aside for a moment.

"Okay. But imagine someone abusing your willingness to bring them water. If someone ends up only calling you to bring him something to drink, wouldn't you be disappointed? If someone treated you like a maid, wouldn't that make you want to leave?"

Kyungsoo blinked at that. It was clear that he hadn't thought of it that way.

That's why his answer was quite delayed. it was alright though, Jongdae was waiting patiently, ignoring the way the world slightly swayed around them.

"I was going to say it's okay if it's you," Kyungsoo began. "Because you took me in and I owe that to you, and I wouldn't mind. Because I like you. But I think I like you _because_ you wouldn't ask such things of me."

The water reflections were dancing across his pale cheeks and Jongdae was struck by the urge to hug him close and be everything Kyungsoo would be disappointed in right now. He felt like a terrible person. He didn't give in though, so he wasn't completely rotten just yet.

"But you're right, I would likely avert myself from people abusing me, if only for self-preservation..."

Kyungsoo's expression was rather blank, but Jongdae could read his dejection in the way he broke eye contact, staring at the tiles to their feet.

"I'm sorry for being so careless with physical affection. I should have learnt better by now, but I'm still too stuck with old patterns."

" _No_ ," Jongdae began, rubbing the other's arms as a fresh wave of regret threatened to drown him. He had made Kyungsoo sad. "No, no, don't say that. Hey. Look at me, please?"

Kyungsoo followed, clear eyes resting on him and not betraying anything.

"Look," Jongdae repeated, and if only his mind wasn't so fuzzy and he could choose his words more elegantly. "Look. I get your train of thoughts and it's not inherently wrong! Chanyeol would never harm you, and I know you wouldn't force yourself on someone. I also believe you if you say you're not affected, and if you want to, you can go around and kiss and touch as much as you like. There's a lot of people who are like that as well, who like having casual sex."

A slight twitch of Kyungsoo's brows betrayed more confusion, and also intrigue at where this was going. Jongdae gave his best to sound calm and reassuring.

"I just feel like you're still unsure of things. As you're living among humans and androids, I think it would be best if you familiarized yourself with this social and physical construct of intimacy first, so that you can predict the consequences of your actions better. Does this make any sense at all? God, I hope so."

Kyungsoo tilted his head as he processed Jongdae's jumbled mess of an explanation.

"I see. So you're saying that when I feel secure in my position in society, I can kiss you."

Just like this, Jongdae was thrown off balance again.

"Ye-what?"

"You just said I can make responsible decisions by then."

"You're not intending to, like, ask me or anything?" Jongdae asked weakly, to which Kyungsoo only further tilted his head and furrowed his brows, obviously adding to the expression to get a point across.

"You don't _want_ to?"

"I feel like you missed most of my point entirely," Jongdae mumbled in defeat, and looked around as if expecting people to stare at them. No one paid them any heed though.

"Most of it?"

"Kyungsoo!"

The android smiled, a small, cautious smile.

"I'm just making things difficult for you. I thought that might relax you a bit."

"You have a funny way of analyzing people," Jongdae sighed, but he was also smiling.

"It's still very inaccurate, I know," Kyungsoo easily admitted, before turning serious again. "I'll try to improve. And I'll think about your words and won't get intimate with any other person tonight. Promise."

Jongdae wanted to coo at how amazing and endearing Kyungsoo was, and drew him into a quick hug.

"I'm sorry if I ruined the party for you," Jongdae muttered into the other's neck. He smelled of smoke and alcohol, with the weak scent of their detergent clinging to his clothes.

"Why would you have ruined the party? We're still here, aren't we?" Kyungsoo just asked, and while Jongdae shot him a guilty look, he only shrugged.

"I can still enjoy this event without touching anyone, and I can think about that later. We should really go back though, because standing so isolated with a single other person can't be counted as being on a party, can it?"

Jongdae smiled.

"You're right."

Kyungsoo looked past him in a way obviously exaggerated to get his attention.

"And also, Chanyeol has been fidgeting around and staring at you for quite a while now. I think he wants to talk to you."

"Oh."

Jongdae looked over his shoulder and yes, that was Chanyeol standing not too far away. He was among friends and yet kept shooting obvious glances their way.

Jongdae turned back to Kyungsoo, seeking his eyes.

"Alright, I'll go. You'll be fine on your own?"

"Yes."

"And... we're good?"

"We're great," Kyungsoo easily replied, and seeing him get a feel for playful language that didn't revolve around genitals made Jongdae strangely happy. He patted his shoulder one last time before turning around to go and face Chanyeol. He _did_ feel guilty for snapping at him like that. Because where Jongdae got tipsy, Chanyeol got flatout wasted, and had a tendency to do very dumb things. Like trying to show off his skateboard skills. Or getting way too naked for the occasion. Or making out with his friends. In fact, Jongdae was pretty sure he had also made out with Chanyeol before. It was probably for the best that he didn't remember.

Anyway, if Jongdae felt guilty, Chanyeol was flatout devastated.

"I'm so sorry!" he blurted, immediately clinging to Jongdae and ignoring the strange looks they got.

"Do you hate me now? I'm sorry. I'm just a good for nothing, horny dick. Are you mad? I should have pushed him off right away-"

"It's okay," Jongdae hurried to assure the lanky mess wrapped around him like an octopus. They staggered into the side of a table, which at least provided them with a little stability.

"I'm not mad. Sorry for snapping like that, I didn't mean to."

His aimless gaze wandered over the assortment of bottles and drinks, while Chanyeol was still staring at him, refusing to let go.

"Like, I get it. Kyungsoo is gorgeous and single, and you're super drunk."

"I knooow, and I'm a complete idiot," Chanyeol easily admitted - that was definitely a good trait about him, self-reflecting behaviour and the awareness that yes, he was totally drunk.

"If I had known you're into him, like _into_ him, this would've never happened. But I'm dumb with these things-"

"Wait, what do you mean, _into him_?" Jongdae perked up, not panicked at _all_. No.

"Sehun told me and it's kind of really obvious and-"

"You're drunk, Chanyeol," he cut his nosy friend off, who in turn smiled lazily.

"Yeah, man. Sorry. It's still true tho."

"You know what? On another thought, I think you could need another drink," Jongdae switched approaches, reaching for two clean shot glasses and filling them with the first liquor available. "It's your birthday, after all."

He offered one glass to Chanyeol, who held it with deceiving calmness, and then raised his own.

"To you. Thanks for always being a good friend," Jongdae announced, and Chanyeol looked at him with doubt for a split second. But Jongdae meant it, and this was him smoothing out the worries. After the moment of hesitation, Chanyeol grinned and clinked their glasses together a little too forcefully.

"Alright! To me! And to you, for being so cool. But mostly to me, because it's my birthday!"

Jongdae laughed and downed his shot right over Chanyeol's collarbone where the green liquid quickly traveled down his chest, beneath the tacky hawaii shirt. Jongdae quickly opened a third button for good measure, before calling out for Yixing, who Chanyeol had a very obvious crush on. Chanyeol actually squawked, and then he was stunned silent when his Chinese co-worker actually appeared - and knew what a body shot was.

Things got back to being fun after that - they teased Chanyeol, and then Jongdae pushed Sehun in a pool, and soon they were both flailing around the water, drenched from head to toe. Kyungsoo was off to the sidelines where someone had lit a few simple sparklers with him. He went from being fearful to being entranced to being excited, and the sight filled Jongdae with warmth and the overwhelming urge to join him, which he did. When the sparklers were used up, Jongdae found a cheap little bottle of soap bubbles, and gifted it to Kyungsoo, who seemed perfectly content spending the rest of the evening making soap bubbles.

In fact, he was busy making soap bubbles again hours later, when the party was slowly quieting down and most people had gone home already. There were still a few people here and there, most of them sitting around a table, illuminated only by a few colorful lanterns as they chatted to dim music. Jongdae knew for a fact that Chanyeol and Yixing weren't among them, and he could only hope they were sitting in some corner, drunk rambling their hearts out instead of getting frisky.

He patted Sehun on the shoulder, and left the table to walk over to where Kyungsoo was sitting at the sidelines. He had found himself a very beautiful spot, sitting at the edge of the pool adjacent to the terrace. If he dipped inside, he'd be able to lean into the pretty security fence to look over the city. But Kyungsoo didn't do that - he hadn't stepped inside a pool all evening, and Jongdae suspected he was being careful.

Kyungsoo was just sitting there, his bare toes only getting wet whenever a bit of water sloshed over them.

"Hey," Jongdae greeted him, used to making his presence known in case he caught someone off guard. Physically catching Kyungsoo off guard was near impossible though, and now the android only shoot him a quick look and a smile.

"Hi."

Jongdae sank down beside him, his feet naturally dangling in the water. He loved the water, but didn't really get a lot of chances to swim or fool around like today.

"You really like those soap bubbles, huh?" he asked, a rhetorical question that Kyungsoo still answered.

"I do. They're fascinating."

He blew another wave of them to hover over the water surface, some bursting at the fence while others managed to surpass it and fly into the night sky. They shimmered in a rich turquoise, illuminated by the lights in the pool.

Wordlessly, he held the little plastic frame in front of Jongdae's lips, who blew into it. His bubbles ended up small and skittish, many bursting right away. Kyungsoo simply dipped it inside the soap water and let him try again.

"Today was quite turbulent, wasn't it?" Jongdae asked, fondly staring into the water, and then out into the sea of lights behind the fence.

"It was exciting," Kyungsoo commented. "I think I like these parties more than the ones I knew before. People were kind and welcoming."

"Chanyeol only knows nice people," Jongdae stated, and Kyungsoo hummed.

"At least he knows you."

Jongdae laughed breathily, the alcohol having settled like a blanket of subdued calmness.

"There you go, flirting again. You'll break people's hearts at this point," he said jokingly.

"What's the difference between flirting and being nice?" Kyungsoo asked, and it added a bittersweet note to the atmosphere. At least to Jongdae.

"It's hard to tell. And that's the whole problem. Most people have trouble telling them apart," he whispered, fingers dipping into the water as well.

"Then why do they have to be told apart?"

"Because," Jongdae began, feeling mildly frustrated with himself, "because otherwise you're getting your hopes up and assume things that aren't there. You misread the intentions of someone and then..."

He didn't finish the sentence, and simply sighed.

A light, hollow sound of plastic against tiles told Jongdae that Kyungsoo had placed the soap bubbles aside, and then there was a hand on his, trapping his between tiles and warm skin, water and the pool gutter.

He looked to his left, at Kyungsoo's face that was oh-so close to his.

"Then what?" Kyungsoo inquired softly, and the lights colored his face in hues of turquoise and warm orange. Jongdae stared at him, feeling irrationally sober. Kyungsoo's eyes may not be human, but looking into them felt just so right. How could that be?

Jongdae's answer came out as a whisper, fragile and yearning, almost sad.

"Then you want to kiss them."

Kyungsoo didn't break eye contact, didn't immediately make the connection, but when Jongdae leaned in to brush his lips against his cheek, Kyungsoo angled his face to have their lips meet instead.

It felt real. Jongdae felt his lips, a little cold from the fresh air but soft and pliant, and it took him a moment to even sense the difference to kissing a human. After the initial, accidental touch, Jongdae hurried to redeem it by kissing him again, softer, more carefully. Kyungsoo didn't react immediately, clearly waiting to mirror what was given to him. When he did begin to carefully nip at Jongdae's lips, it made lights appear before Jongdae's closed lids, and the sensation was almost too violent to be bearable with the alcohol flowing through his veins still.

Heat rose to his cheeks, but he kept the pace careful, kept breaking the touch only to seek it again, short and fluttery, sweet and a little needy. Kyungsoo went along with it, no hand in Jongdae's neck, no added force, no pushing. It was so perfect that even crying wouldn't have been out of place. Even when he deepened the kiss a few moments later, adding just a little more pressure, allowing his lips to linger just a little longer, Kyungsoo didn't pull away, keeping their fingers intertwined. Jongdae felt the water running over their hands, could hear it softly sloshing against the gutter, could feel Kyungsoo nip at his lips, and Jongdae felt nothing but true bliss.


	7. Chapter 7

 

_I met a nice bird today.  
It sang with me, even if our songs sounded a little strange together, and it wanted to be my friend._

 

* * *

 

"Jongdae, please open the door."

"Kyungsoo, _no_."

There were no more knocks on the door, but Kyungsoo was persistent.

"Jongdae, _please_."

But Jongdae only drew the blanket up further, as if that would shield him in any way.

"No. I can't believe I did that to you, and I'm a fucking disappointment."

"I'm happy you did _that_ to me," he heard Kyungsoo say through the door, mirroring Jongdae's emphasis, only without the scalding negativity. "It was nice. No one has ever kissed me like that before."

At the mere mention of the kiss, Jongdae started whining, long and dragged out and drowning out whatever else Kyungsoo had been planning to say.

He had actually kissed Kyungsoo. After holding him a speech on not giving out intimate gestures easily, he had done just that and man, he was the worst. Double standards at their finest. What had he been thinking? Fine, it had been past four in the morning and he'd been reasonably drunk, but still. He'd even explicitly stopped Kyungsoo from initiating a kiss in the past, multiple times at that, and then he'd just snapped at the first opportunity. How was he going to explain this? Justify this?

With a sigh, Jongdae turned to his side, flopping into the mattress with a little too much force - his head was already pounding as it was.

 _Fine, there was no justifying_ , he admitted to himself. Apologizing was his only option, but what about the explaining part? Kyungsoo would never let him off the hook without thoroughly explaining his reasons and motivations.

And that's where the trouble arose.

Jongdae had been staring at the wall for what felt like an eternity. At some point, Kyungsoo knocked at the door again.

"Jongdae?"

Jongdae hummed in question.

"I'm going out. Is that okay?"

"Sure!" Jongdae called out, and then belatedly added, "Take some money with you, from the tin box!"

"Alright, thank you. Bye!"

It was alright to talk if he didn't have to actually face Kyungsoo.

Jongdae still sighed in relief when he heard the door closing.

He felt like an idiotic teenager. Not only for giving in to his hormones but also for being so stuck now. He simply didn't know what to do.

Slowly, he sat up and peeled himself out of his blanket. Now that Kyungsoo was gone he could at least take some painkillers and get a nice (but careful) shower and have a nice (but light) breakfast. He was already standing in the bathroom when he returned to get his phone, to have some music that would hopefully drown out a bit of the obnoxious self-deprecating thoughts echoing around his head. Unlocking it revealed a few unread messages, but none that he felt like checking right now.

He wasn't worried about Kyungsoo's whereabouts - he occasionally met up with his newfound friends, especially Jongin and Minseok.

Jongdae halted as he toweled himself off, staring at his phone.

Jongin.

He grabbed it to shoot said boy a text. If there was anyone he'd like to talk to right now, it would be Jongin.

 

* * *

 

 

"I thought of moving in with Yifan."

"Oh? Wow. Did you talk about that yet?" Jongdae asked, playing with the perspiration on his chilled soda. He had yet to talk about anything Kyungsoo-related, but just listening to Jongin was calming already. Jongin lowered his fork halfway to his mouth, looking fidgety.

"I mean. He offered that before, quite a few times. But I didn't think I was ready yet, so I declined. The offer still stands, right? I just assumed it did. I really hope it does."

Seeing the train of thought going from defensive to nervous to very nervous was all-too relatable.

"You can always just ask again," Jongdae suggested, and Jongin happily clung to that suggestion.

"I should. I was planning on surprising him but I should really ask again."

"I'm sure he'll be delighted. The asking is more for you than for him at this point," Jongdae mused, fishing a piece of chicken off the plate.

"It's really obvious you're housing an android, you know that?"

That caught Jongdae by surprise.

"What makes you say that?"

Jongin laughed, and he was still smiling as he dug around his noodle dish to free a bit of crusty cheese from the top.

"You confirmed it again just now. You're just very... precise in the way you talk. Not just _why_ , but _what makes you say that_ ; and your comments are kinda analytical and generalized, just... I don't know, it seems like a thing to say to an android. _Ask less for him and more for yourself._ It's something about that."

"I'm sorry?" Jongdae tried, again entirely oblivious to any of the things Jongin mentioned. He really wondered whether being with Kyungsoo changed him, and whether that change was obnoxious to others.

Well, it certainly wasn't to Jongin, who just waved him off with a relaxed smile.

"It's cool. I just noticed because it's something Yifan also slips into a lot. Androids and humans technically speak the same language, right? And yet there are many differences in how we express ourselves. I feel like Yifan - and you, too, sometimes - move in an area right in the middle. Not like that's a bad thing! I just noticed."

"Oh," Jongdae only said, staring at his food and thinking about that. And then he thought about whether that was another trait he had picked up - silently and leisurely processing things before replying. How much of his behaviour had changed, how much was left of the previous him?

How must Kyungsoo feel in that regard? He'd made a 180 degree change in a short time period. But he was still Kyungsoo to Jongdae. So maybe it would be fine for Jongdae, as well.

"I didn't mean to weird you out or anything," Jongin hesitantly said, and right, not everyone enjoys silence. Heck, Jongdae didn't even mind talking - he was just in a bad mood today, that was all.

"You didn't!" he assured him, and then wordlessly offered his plate to Jongin, who happily snatched a piece. "It's probably true. There's always things outsiders can see more of."

"And then there's things outsiders can't see," Jongin mused, when he thought of something.

"Have you finished the book, by the way?"

Jongdae didn't have to ask which book they were talking about. He'd only read one book this year. Or rather _in years_.

"I did. it was really thoughtful. I thought it was kinda sad, but then the ending was uplifting," Jongdae commented, and Jongin nodded.

"Yeah... trying to find your purpose as an android is something I just can't emphasize with. It's also kinda frustrating that certain barriers cannot be overcome, no matter what you do."

"Like love," Jongdae blurted out before he knew it, and Jongin looked a little surprised.

"All feelings, really," Jongdae hurried to add. "We're overall too driven by instincts and weird emotions that don't make a lot of sense. It's not their fault we're weirdos."

"I think many androids like the challenge," Jongin replied good-naturedly, and there was a knowing spark in his eye as he regarded Jongdae.

"At least Kyungsoo seems enraptured with the idea of learning to understand you. He talks about you all the time."

Jongdae groaned at that, hiding his face in his hands.

"I know. He's holding me in such high regards, it's ridiculous."

"Almost like he's in love, huh?"

Jongdae looked up in surprise. He was too taken aback to get defensive. Androids could not really fall in love, could they?

"I mean," Jongin began with a shrug, obviously able to read the question that was plastered all over Jongdae's face. "What difference does it make, really?"

 

 _A lot. It made a lot of difference_ , Jongdae thought to himself as he entered the apartment later, way after sundawn, when the stars had already been sparkling unhelpfully above him. In fact, he had spent the entire way home reminding himself of said differences, allowing them to echo around his head. All the reasons why he was a bad person for kissing Kyungsoo.

For one, androids didn't feel romantic love. They did not discern between general affection and romantic affection. He felt like abusing that equanimous nature.

Secondly, androids could hardly fall out of love, while humans could. Sure, an android would eventually stop liking you if you treated them badly. But a human could just wake up one day and realize it's over. Kyungsoo didn't deserve that.

Back then, he had taken Kyungsoo in because he wanted to help him.

He had grown fond of him, even if Kyungsoo got him into minor trouble all the time or had a knack of being a nuisance (on purpose, too, if he wanted).

Kyungsoo treasured him. And Jongdae treasured him just as much.

But...

"You're back."

Jongdae felt caught, but looked into the living room nonetheless, where Kyungsoo looked up from his sketchbook.

"Yeah. Look, Kyungsoo, I'm sorry," Jongdae began, and Kyungsoo nodded.

"I know," he cut him off. "And I told you not to be. Can I ask a favour of you?"

"Huh? Of course?" Jongdae asked rather than stated, surprised at the other's nonchalant behaviour. And the fact that he was asking something. Kyungsoo didn't usually ask for anything, really.

"Can we go out? I wanna go to a club. Can we?"

Kyungsoo looked at him, patient and a little expectant.

Back when he had first brought him home, he would have made exaggerated pouts and gestures and use slang on him. Now the most subtle question was all Jongdae got, and it was all it took for him to say yes. Without thinking.

"Of course," he said yet again, dimly wondering who was more robotic now. "When do you want to go?"

Kyungsoo shrugged, closing his sketchpad.

"Now?"

"Oh. Okay. Uhm. Gimme a few minutes to get dressed."

Kyungsoo smiled.

"Thank you. I'll also get dressed."

With a head full of questions, Jongdae complied and looked for a club-appropriate outfit. What was Kyungsoo thinking of now? Did he miss making out with people who didn't give him a hard time?

Jongdae shook his head at the foolish thoughts and focused on the messy content of his wardrobe.

He was going to trust Kyungsoo on this. That's why he reached for the fancy pair of ripped jeans.

 

Kyungsoo seemed to share Jongdae's thoughts on this, and when he slipped into his shoes a few minutes later, he was wearing Jongdae's leather jacket and a simple jeans and t-shirt. They had thrown his old clothes out, but this outfit came close to what he'd been wearing when Jongdae found him. Jongdae, too, was wearing the same graphic tee and his black jeans.

They didn't talk about where they were headed - it was obvious.

On the way, though, Kyungsoo kept talking, telling him things that were on his mind, but not related to where they were going.

"Minseok said he could help me find a job," he was currently saying, which really got Jongdae's attention.

"You want a job?"

"Yes," Kyungsoo agreed readily. The innocent way he sought his eyes clashed a lot with the leather jacket and his slightly mussed up hair. He hadn't looked like this when he first met him, right?

"I want a job for financial security, in case my parts are damaged. And to support you."

"You don't have to," Jongdae immediately said, but Kyungsoo wasn't deterred.

"But it wouldn't do any harm either, right?"

"Of course not. You're just not needing a lot of resources in the first place."

Being honest with Kyungsoo had become so easy. So why couldn't he be honest about what he felt for him?

"I use your electricity, bed sheets, guest bed and you even bought me clothes. I think it's only fair," Kyungsoo insisted, one thought chasing the next, "do you think I could work at the library, too?"

"Huh? Maybe? I know they employ androids, too - you can give it a shot?"

"I will. Minseok promised he'd help me," Kyungsoo muttered, seemingly distracted by all the things he wanted to tell Jongdae - after only half a day of them not talking.

"I was also planning on buying new parts for me. After I'm all accommodated to the ones I have. And saved up a little. But there's so many additional parts I could purchase for myself!"

Jongdae unconsciously imagined Kyungsoo wearing fancy antennas having glowing eyes, and shook his head.

"Parts? Do you need anything?" he asked carefully.

"Need is not the right term," Kyungsoo hummed, "But I want them. I'd like to try a lot of things."

"I have no idea what that entails and I'm not sure whether I'm worried or not," Jongdae blankly stated, but then Kyungsoo _smiled_ at him, and goddammit, his smiles always came without warning, and Jongdae felt weak.

"Don't worry. I'll be careful."

Jongdae's reply, a simple 'Okay,' came late, and felt insecure even to him.

He'd always felt rather secure in his relationship with Kyungsoo - he rarely knew what exactly was going on in his head, but he knew the general direction and how things were between them. Right now, he was a little confused.

 

* * *

 

It turned out that the Neon Demon was still the most run-down and dirty club in the city.

Again, being sober seemed like a burden, but today he felt more sober than ever, considering that they hadn't come here to dance or get drunk (or catch an awful infection).

Kyungsoo had gone quiet the moment they were faced with the tacky neon signs and the stairs leading down. He halted in his steps occasionally, soaking up the building, the signs, the dirty entrance area. Jongdae didn't comment and just let him be. He didn't refuse Kyungsoo's hand clasping his, either. There were two people making out against a wall, already partway undressed, and Jongdae wrinkled his nose. Kyungsoo just looked at them with a tilted head, before tugging Jongdae towards the main room with a neutral expression. Jongdae watched his expression and for once, he couldn't read anything at all.

_What are you thinking, Kyungsoo?_

The dull music was turned up to the hilt as soon as the door opened, and Jongdae felt the bass vibrate in his eardrums.

They made their way to the bar, which was somehow even filthier than Jongdae remembered. It was amazing how pale and fuzzy memories could get if one didn't try hard to keep them.

Kyungsoo leaned over the counter and casually ordered Jongdae a drink. Jongdae couldn't bring himself to tell Kyungsoo that he'd rather not drink anything here.

Then he turned to the right, to the two guys slamming the counter as they laughed at something.

"Hi," Kyungsoo yelled over the beat, until he got their attention. Jongdae watched him, feeling worried, but deciding to trust him.

When the guys greeted him back, slightly confused but not uninterested, Kyungsoo casually leaned against the counter.

"You wanna have some fun?"

Jongdae gave his best not to make a face at Kyungsoo, not to look at the strangers, to control his expression and emotion, but then he felt Kyungsoo turn towards him. He looked up to see one of the guys staring at him, with the other leering at Kyungsoo.

"You're renting him out?" one of them asked, gesturing at Kyungsoo as if he wasn't there.

Baffled, Jongdae stared back.

"What? No?!"

The guy actually rolled his eyes before half-heartedly pushing Kyungsoo away, and towards Jongdae.

"Then keep your droid to you."

Jongdae just stood there with slightly parted lips, in utter disbelief at the audacity. Before he could come up with a proper way to react, Kyungsoo had tugged him along.

He approached the next person, a wasted woman that was way older than Jongdae. She brushed him off, saying she didn't fuck androids. Next up was a sleazy-looking guy that suspected Kyungsoo to be an undercover cop. Next up-

"Kyungsoo, what are you doing?" Jongdae called into his ear, holding the android close by a firm grip around his forearm.

"Demonstrating you something," the other replied, as if it was no big deal at all, and then turned towards a couple of men who were making out on the nearby seats, and the table mercifully hid whether they were even still dressed or not and-

"Okay, enough. Enough, Kyungsoo. Let's leave, please."

 _Please_ , Jongdae had said, but hadn't really waited for an answer as he tugged the android along and squeezed himself past tacky, dancing, drunk people to reach the exit of this hole in the wall. Crumbly, cemented stairs flew by and then they were back into the open air, standing on the deserted sidewalk, under a yellowish streetlamp.

Jongdae took a deep breath, looked up at the sky and then at Kyungsoo.

"Okay. What did you want to show me? I think it's safer to tell me than provoke anyone else down there."

"Well... what do you think I was trying to demonstrate?" Kyungsoo asked back, and Jongdae really didn't feel like playing any games right now, but if Kyungsoo asked like this, there must be a reason for it.

He stared at Kyungsoo while cluelessly shaking his head.

"No idea. That no one but me wanted to take you home?"

Kyungsoo shook his head, still patiently staring, waiting for Jongdae to keep guessing.

"That... Kyungsoo, please. I have no idea," Jongdae sighed, running his hand through his hair, "that people are dicks to androids? I was just worried down there-"

"You almost got it right. That means I almost did a good job demonstrating it," Kyungsoo noticed, and he reached out to touch Jongdae's arms, to get him to focus on him, maybe even anchor him. A gesture he had picked up from Jongdae.

"They all realized I'm an android right away, did you notice that?"

Jongdae blinked. He had, in fact, not noticed that, but now that he said it...

"Back then, no one would notice - they would see it when they undressed me, but at first, people looked and me and took me for a human."

"And now they don't do that anymore... isn't that bad?" Jongdae asked carefully. Kyungsoo smiled at this, a small, peaceful smile, and softly shook his head.

"No. It's not bad. I could still convince them if I wanted to. But since you took me in, I learnt how to be myself. I used to play a role all the time, just like the actors in those drama series. I was nothing but a mirror, I only imitated what I saw, and what I saw was a limited little role. I didn't realize that until I watched your drama series - which felt so familiar and real to me - and then they showed bloopers and outtakes, and I realized it's all pretense."

Jongdae's hands found their way up to comfortably rest on Kyungsoo's forearms, as he listened patiently.

"Now my horizon has broadened and I understand that there is no need for constant self-expression. You always welcomed me just being me. You didn't want a pliant, willing pretty boy or a cocksure macho, or anything else for that matter. It's tiring to always balance out your mimique and form various expressions, and I used to try so hard, in order to be part of society. With you, I can relax. Even if I don't bend and twist and try very hard, you'll understand me."

"Where are you going with this?" Jongdae asked, just barely above a whisper. Kyungsoo tilted his head a little, looking inquiring, but also so very calm.

"I'm saying that I changed, that I'm still changing, and there's a lot I have yet to learn. Regardless, though, you can stop feeling so responsible for things you cannot be held responsible for."

"What do you mean?" Jongdae asked, and his heart ached; he was torn between clinging on to Kyungsoo and turning away, but in the end, he did neither of those.

"You said that before - that I don't owe you anything," Kyungsoo elaborated, and Jongdae squeezed his arms at that, because he still meant it. "You don't owe me anything either. You don't have to be some marvelous, wise master."

Jongdae felt guilty at that, but Kyungsoo didn't give him time to process that feeling.

"You're not manipulating me and even if you did, I would not be oblivious to it. Because you didn't cage me in. You never intended to be the center of my life, you opened every door possible and encouraged me to see the world for myself. If I was unhappy with the way you treat me, I would have tons of options to leave. If I'd find my purpose in traveling the world, you would let me go. I met quite a few people, and gathered a lot of impressions, so when I'm telling you that I like you and want to be by your side, and wish to make you happy, then please believe me. I have a reason for feeling that way. I'm my own person."

Jongdae felt his face heat up, felt too many emotions at once - from shame and embarrassment to feeling sorry to feeling... fluttery. Kyungsoo had just confessed to him. Humans called an android's affection platonic, but to Jongdae, it felt like something heavy and meaningful, something above what some people called _love_.

"I talked to Minseok and Luhan about that a lot," Kyungsoo continued, and this entire speech seemed carefully thought through, like most things Kyungsoo had to say. "They told me that there are parts I can purchase, programs they can give me to emulate human love. I thought about trying those, but then I decided against them. Human love seems exciting and wild, but also fickle. I'd rather _love_ you in the way I can, having the security that this feeling will stay. It's up to you though, whether that is enough for you. It wouldn't be shameful to decline."

He was looking at Jongdae now, waiting for an answer.

Jongdae's heart was pounding so hard that he felt a heavy lump in his throat. Unable to form words, he parted his lips, and then closed his mouth again.

Kyungsoo was just looking at him, with this almost neutral expression of his. What he said was true - when he'd first met Kyungsoo, he had been full of exaggerated faces, loud slang and obnoxious gestures. Now it was all subdued emotions, and every single display was a conscious choice. Right now, he was observing him very attentively, but he still devoted a part of his mind to looking serious, but gentle, making room for Jongdae to fill the silence with his own, possible broader emotions.

"I..." he tried, trailed off, and wondered why. He knew the answer already. It was just a question of how to word it.

"I appreciate that you told me all this," he began anew. "And that you're patient with me, and listen to my crappy explanations on humanity. And that you communicate with me via facial expressions, intonations and gestures, even though you don't have to. That you- that you put in the effort to smile at me, instead of making fun of my human antics."

He looked down at the ground, took another deep breath, and gathered his courage to look up again.

"I might be a huge disappointment to you, when you develop further and maybe discover how boring I really am. It might just be a crush, too. I can't tell yet. But I'd love to find out. If you'll have me."

There was the small smile again, and the way Kyungsoo averted his eyes for just a second felt entirely natural.

"You don't have to thank me for expressing myself the way I do," he assured Jongdae, and the tension was bleeding out of his expression, "I do that because I _want_ to communicate with you and naturally, I'd pick a language you know well."

The hands on Jongdae's arms wandered up, and before he knew it, Kyungsoo had pulled him close with his hands resting in the back of Jongdae's neck, displaying no shame at all over being in public. He leaned in close, close enough that he had to lower his voice.

"And I really hope I can _finally_ kiss you now, because that would be the most efficient way to get my point across."

Jongdae shut him up by pressing their lips together, and never before had a decision felt so _right_.

This kiss was less tender and careful than the last one. It was by no means dirty, but it was more firm and reassured. Like a seal to make it official.

There was no need to hurry, anyway - they could kiss however they liked from now on, and however often they wanted.

Kyungsoo seemed to have thought about that as well, since the first thing leaving his mouth after the kiss was the story about special parts and sensors enabling him to actually enjoy kisses in a way more similar to humans, and how Minseok and Luhan had claimed it was fun.

Jongdae didn't have to tell Kyungsoo that there was no need to try and be more human. He already knew that.

 

"And then there's plenty of parts for everything that comes after kissing, so if you're into _that_ -"

 

Jongdae shut him up with another kiss. This one was the messed up type of kiss where both parties grinned too much for it to actually work. It was just perfect.

 

* * *

 

 

 _I met a nice bird today._  
It sang with me, even if our songs sounded a little strange together, and it wanted to be my friend.  
I was sure it would leave upon seeing the metal I'm made of, but instead it was amazed.

_"You're so much stronger than other birds and you can fly much higher, isn't that great?"  
That's what it asked._

_"But that metal body of mine is so very unbird-like," I replied. "When other birds look at me, they would never think I'm one of them."_  
It was the first time someone listened to the words I had to say, and understood them.  
  
"It's true that you're a very different bird," my new friend admitted.

_"You're like a metal bird. You can fly like a rocket but sing like a bird."_

_"But no one understands me when I'm singing."_

_"Birds never understand the song of another bird," my friend said, and I didn't know that._

_"They simply try to understand by comparing it to their own song or other songs they've heard before. If you sing a lot, and listen to many songs, you can do the same."_

_It was hard to believe that._

_"Is that true?"_

_My new friend laughed at that._

_"It is. You may never feel the struggle of losing feathers, but I'll never know what space looks like. You can be a bird tomorrow and a rocket the day after tomorrow. Today, you're a metal bird though, and I'd love to be friends with you."_

_I felt very glad in that moment, and like I could finally pause my search._

_It seems that I can simply choose a place to belong in._

_I choose this place._

_~ The End ~_


End file.
